#is it even 87. could be 88

[veradragonjedi]

@many-legged

And I says to myself "Ok. We can only get one small thing at the weird bookstore's retirement sale."

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

OK. All the blogs in this special round 0 are under the cut. Every odd number is against the even below it. We'll see how tumblr feels about the bracket image this time, but I'm not posting it until this round 0 is over.

Due to not wanting to spam your feeds and also the tumblr post limit (there are 253 polls this round!), I will be spreading these out via the queue, posting 50 a day.

1: hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

2: flareon-fanart-collection

3: the-compressor

4: rat-detector-but-evil

5: cantheywinthehungergames

6: official-fluffy-posts

7: would-you-punt-them

8: dailyhomestarfacts

9: ominous-signs

10: rat-detector-24

11: throckmorton-the-skater

12: dailytricksterfox

13: identifying-dogs

14: disappointed-by-lack-of-soup

15: identifying-cat-phenotypes

16: the-real-yahoo-mail

17: alphabetcompletionist

18: guillotinema

19: bocchidaily2024

20: the-official-netherlands

21: makingyourfavesinwebfishing

22: rat-detector-detector-detector

23: yesornopolls

24: posts-i-saw-on-wikipedia

25: elvis-official

26: ebugsdotjpeg

27: crane-detector

28: word-problem-posting

29: onionpainter

30: rat-detector-fail

31: i-make-things-snakes

32: the-djavulsksilverhaj

33: onenicebugperday

34: funnier-when-objectum

35: things-that-are-weezer-blue

36: no-stupid-questions-official

37: i-identify-as-an-ominous-threat

38: mysticmagicrat

39: hot-take-tournament

40: rat-detector-8x

41: cantheykillmacbeth

42: is-this-shakespearean-accurate

43: bear-detector

44: inside-outtakes-daily

45: localairport

46: the-demonhaj

47: cat-spotted

48: suddenlyveryloud

49: probablybadrpgideas

50: your-fav-is-divorced

51: parentheses-posts

52: sans-in-heat

53: ifitwasediblewouldyoueatit

54: same-pic-of-the-blue-moon

55: mcmansionhell

56: dailykafka

57: ofishal-fish-posts

58: gimmick-spice-tolerance-bracket

59: really-fucked-up-stimboards

60: polishpriests

61: identifying-dinosaurs-in-posts

62: iloveants

63: gimmick-blog-bracket

64: the-actual-ocean

65: pointless-achievements

66: digital-slenderman

67: making-your-fave-in-fr

68: twopartposts

69: creatures-in-posts

70: not-a-trampoline-daily

71: echo-flower-from-undertale

72: e-counter

73: is-the-post-reliable

74: the-magentahaj

75: the-timeloop-tourney

76: friend-myth-kill

77: couldtransitionsaveher

78: smashorpassgilf

79: ginger-ale-official

80: is-this-fascism

81: official-boob-posts

82: los-camp-daily

83: yesterdays-xkcd

84: earth-updates-today

85: rat-detector

86: fuck-you-in-particular

87: making-you-in-ponytown

88: i-shelve-posts

89: haveyouatethisfruit

90: new-dinosaurs

91: cantheysurvive2001aspaceodyssey

92: stereosexuals-daily

93: does-this-require-cyanobacteria

94: rat-detector-333

95: mammalidentifier

96: is-your-post-grey

97: kittybroker

98: dilfs-dot-com

99: howoldisjimmycarter

100: pokemonbattletournament

101: reallybadblackoutpoems

102: unhelpfultarot

103: postsofbabel

104: the-offical-vine

105: drawing-you-as-a-critter

106: incorrectconspiracytheorist

107: arewebeholdingaman

108: the-official-chaldea

109: lowpolyanimals

110: the-real-will-wood-daily

111: i-want-tennis-ball

112: united-states-health-care

113: snailifier

114: locked-in-or-tweaking

115: the-purple-painter

116: the-actual-catacombs

117: rick-roller

118: identifying-spacecraft-in-posts

119: parappa-raps

120: inthetags

121: little-bitch-detector

122: elitegreet

123: blood-heritage-posts

124: words-that-could-be-jtoh-towers

125: scp-threats-is-back

126: ratdetectordetectordetectordet

127: fake-post-archive

128: ratdectector23

129: one-time-i-dreamt

130: could-they-win-a-holy-grail-war

131: shirtsthatgohard

132: rhinoceros-beetle-official

133: tf2heritageposts

134: pokemon-cards-hourly

135: everydayspamton

136: rat-detector-334

137: in-the-bible

138: fav-character-shroin-count

139: identifying-horses-in-posts

140: cactus-detector

141: peoplegettingkindamadatfood

142: spirit-phone-daily

143: official-mantis-shrimp-posts

144: rat-detector-236

145: whatcoloristhatcat

146: rat-eliminator

147: identifying-maille-weaves

148: the-lilahaj

149: things-that-are-not-true

150: ratdetector-x26

151: terriblerealestateagentphotos

152: in-case-i-die-daily

153: hellsite-proteins

154: good-pokemon-center-reviews

155: how-many-letters

156: characters-with-garlic-bread

157: same-picture-of-a-rock-every-day

158: costcopizzablog

159: shrimpradar

160: do-you-know-this-adhd-character

161: identifying-cars-in-posts

162: shakespearean-suffering

163: the-firey-painter

164: official-wasp-posts

165: identifying-birds

166: pale-fur-my-moirail

167: carbon-monoxide-detector

168: out-of-context-tbcu

169: sealsdaily

170: a-counter

171: counter-facts-i-just-made-up

172: linguistwho

173: validwarriorcatsnames

174: the-litenhaj

175: i-type-things

176: fr-winn-dixie

177: hellsite-hall-of-fame

178: official-hater-posts

179: miscellaneous-marios

180: content-free

181: eroticismofthemachinedetector

182: weeklycandacedrawings

183: asciicompletionist

184: the-rosahaj

185: my-hobby-is-finding-the-source

186: anarchist-chess

187: the-hex-project

188: would-you-eat-them

189: apolladay

190: hajtale

191: evilwizard

192: the-aftonsparv

193: i-give-worms

194: official-knight-posts

195: fluttershywheresheshouldntbe

196: pokemontheywouldhave

197: card-of-the-day

198: mtg-cards-hourly

199: writing-prompt-s

200: mcr5-thoughts-every-other-day

201: memes-to-show-the-past

202: ratdetectortheninth

203: can-they-lift-thors-hammer

204: rat-detectors-detector

205: is-jk-rowling-dead-yet

206: orca-detector

207: amphibianaday

208: jstor

209: dark-wil-wheaton

210: chicago-mentioned

211: critter-creature-or-beast

212: civilisation-updates

213: yeahokayillreblogthat

214: worldofultimategaming

215: maryland-officially

216: fecundinex-official

217: whoishotteranimepolls

218: towhee-enjoyer

219: official-linguistics-post

220: t-counter

221: text-inverter

222: blorbo-court

223: latinare

224: detector-rat

225: making-you-in-atlyss

226: the-turkoshaj

227: i-give-you-a-fish

228: videos-i-didnt-make

229: i-make-things-spheres

230: 1337sp34kr

231: amongus-text-detector

232: rat-detector-16

233: alonglistofbirds

234: half-fey-freak-of-nature

235: girl-detector

236: cursed-facebook-marketplace

237: mouse-spotted

238: accidental-will-wood-reference

239: dear-ao3

240: daily-pokemon-polls

241: googlyeyesonmagiccards

242: totally-france

243: baba-is-blog

244: neilcicierega-daily

245: rat-detector-detector

246: i-give-you-a-manul

247: xkcd-for-that

248: r-ominous-positivity

249: who-jumps-for-the-beef

250: ace-attorney-smash-or-pass

251: making-you-in-spore

252: binas-official

253: i-say-ok

254: rat-detector-redacted

255: couldtheycatchkira

256: connection-terminated-blog

257: identifying-typewriters-in-posts

258: ratdetector13

259: post-store

260: unitedstatesoffandom

261: booktomoviebrawl

262: same-picture-of-benson-every-day

263: bestanimal

264: poorly-identifying-cats-in-posts

265: secondbeatsongs

266: museum-place-of-guys

267: musical-posts

268: libraryofbabel-postlocator

269: todays-xkcd

270: the-gimmick-teachers

271: numberscompletionist

272: am-i-the-asshole-official

273: the-glitter-painter

274: mcr-reference

275: eggblackoutpoetry

276: shinypokemonshowdown

277: rating-shittysawtraps

278: fnaf-flags

279: translatingpostsinfrench

280: rat-detector-twelve

281: pressxtosetfree

282: the-blahaj

283: transit-fag

284: orange-content-rater

285: lichenaday

286: eatorfuck

287: i-identify-guns-in-posts

288: daily-kobold-facts

289: front-facing-pokemon

290: apple-counter

291: thoughts-of-eel

292: rat-detector-19x

293: official-crab-posts

294: its-target-official

295: making-you-in-roblox

296: the-purpurhaj

297: aita-blorbos

298: mcytblrconfessions

299: doyoulikethissong-poll

300: i-remove-color-from-posts

301: flametexting-posts

302: medici-official

303: dailyhatsune

304: litwtc-referrer

305: cat-identifier

306: the-rat-detector-couple-the-1st

307: dailyquests

308: posts-without-the-letter-e

309: the-magenta-painter

310: space-update-today

311: haveyouheardthisband

312: videogameaxolotls

313: i-make-things-into-faces

314: eial-daily

315: the-haiku-bot

316: rat-detector-84

317: ao3org

318: your-fave-as-a-fate-servant

319: would-they-survive

320: chess-rook

321: making-you-in-sticky-business

322: born-against-daily

323: catcrumb

324: birdcounter

325: wtf-scientific-papers

326: is-it-ranboos-birthday

327: herpsandbirds

328: reading-comp-wrong-answers

329: ryunumber

330: c-counter

331: randomitemdrop

332: squeakdreamsresort

333: gimmick-thief-thief

334: favevostagepoll

335: simplified-birds

336: nom-nom-counter

337: i-make-things-content-aware

338: cookieclickercookieeater

339: ca-dmv-bot

340: rat-detector-the-22nd

341: rotating-donuts-blog

342: duothelingo

343: couldtheybekira

344: etho-spotted

345: contextfreepatentart

346: svard-haj

347: fixing-bad-posts

348: starskids-twisted-daily

349: the-icy-painter

350: rat-detector-the-26th

351: jesus-holding-your-fave

352: goodpokeaniscreencaps

353: making-you-in-lps

354: finding-tv-girl

355: is-destiel-canon-yet

356: rat-detector-13

357: it-hurts-to-post

358: rat-detector-seven

359: aistobascistod

360: nether-have-i-ever

361: shit-hdb-would-say

362: objectum-culture-is

363: hitboxesonstockimages

364: black-parade-daily

365: howdotheyliketheirsteak

366: lemondemonlyrics-daily

367: its-wednesday-sparkle-on

368: king-of-the-gods-zeus

369: certifiednewyorkposts

370: jeweledmonstera

371: todaysbird

372: south-carolina-detector

373: the-disempunctuationer

374: scale-polls

375: theyshapedlikefriends

376: big-mayo-official

377: elementcattos

378: massachusetts-official

379: theshitpostcalligrapher

380: hawaii-part-ii-daily

381: fish-identifier

382: the-universe-devs

383: identifying-cars-in-art

384: snake-spotted

385: banjobebleping

386: rat-detector-the-21st

387: relevant-wikipedia-articles

388: noahbaumbachmaritalstatus

389: shark-detector

390: rat-detector36

391: gimmickblog-taxonomist

392: official-level-5

393: peeledpokemon

394: bad-time-analogies

395: bovineblogger

396: the-eldritch-skrackhaj

397: periodiccompletionist

398: soniclesbianflags

399: ohio-thestate

400: fakest-thickwoman

401: bible-word-counter

402: rat-detector-the-18th

403: gimmick-thief

404: colorpicked-flags-from-one-guy

405: three-dee-ess

406: salem-village-everyday

407: the-frightening-ghoul

408: cool-rocks-official

409: bugthingsdaily

410: how-much-yellow

411: is-it-out-of-touch-thursday

412: ditto-dex

413: todays-problematic-ship

414: how-many-purples

415: thefoilguy

416: your-fave-as-owl

417: whatsthebird

418: the-first-bank

419: accidental-homestuck

420: thingsthatcannotsaveyou

421: what-day-of-the-week

422: jamface-daily

423: househeritageposts

424: fictitious-grail-war

425: fox-detector

426: spine-gif

427: hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

428: rat-dedecdor

429: worlds-worst-ships

430: marinememes

431: dyktvideogamesfx

432: best-u-of-feenis-program

433: official-olm-posts

434: frollosuggestions

435: lesserknowncryptids

436: random-askbox-shit

437: hands-you-a-spatula

438: alyrictoasongbythecranewives

439: transparentcatpngs

440: sideblog-with-everyone

441: the-reverser

442: rat-detector-72

443: charl0ttan

444: pokemonxniccage

445: is-deltarune-tomorrow

446: ratdetector-x11

447: official-cannibalism-posts

448: hituwithabat

449: magic-vending-machine

450: universal-posting

451: statistical-distr-of-polls

452: incorrect-guilty-gear

453: dog-spotted

454: cccc-reference-counter

455: can-they-assemble-ikea-furniture

456: moonpawmybeloved

457: dailypokemoncrochet

458: rat-detector-the-14th

459: post-uwuifier

460: incaseimakeit-daily

461: makingyourfavindti

462: willwoodoutofcontext

463: was-house-fruity

464: bozarotexts

465: textposttropes

466: i-add-ampersands-to-posts

467: free-post-store

468: rat-detector-rat-89

469: sat-a-day

470: willwooddaily

471: wouldyoudoitforaklondikebar

472: c-official

473: where-is-tom-scott-today

474: tfihwg-daily

475: littleguysdaily

476: rainworld-name-verifier

477: badjokesbyjeff

478: rat-detector-to-the-5th-power

479: identifying-planes-in-posts

480: guiltygearofficial

481: doyouknowthisdisabledcharacter

482: official-bee-posts

483: making-you-in-mc

484: rat-detector-thirteen

485: voiceclaim-polls

486: walmart-the-official

487: tf2-post-archive

488: olipopsoda

489: making-u-a-cube

490: rat-detector-15

491: identifying-guns-in-posts

492: dailyiiwheelship

493: postanagramgenerator

494: will-wood-referrer

495: punctuation-completionist

496: daily-vitamin-an

497: i-give-chess-pieces-to-people

498: left-handed-minecraft-mobs

499: colourpickingpride

500: eurovision-song-bracket

501: incognitopolls

502: self-proclaimed-brick-expert

503: shittysawtraps

504: self-ish-daily

505: i-give-olms-to-people

506: scromble

[jaysguitarstring]

⋆｡°✩ compatibility test

in which you do a compatibility test with them.

⭑.ᐟ pairing ; enha x fem reader, established relationship

⭑.ᐟ genre ; fluff, crack

⭑.ᐟ warnings ; cursing

⭑.ᐟ join my permanent taglist here

⭑.ᐟ☆ demi's notes ; saw one of my friends do this for fun while we joked around about old crushes and i wanted to write smth about it!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

‧₊˚⭑.ᐟ LEE HEESEUNG

"come on, are you done yet?" heeseung asks impatiently, watching you cross out the letters you have in common in your names.

you stick your tongue out slightly in concentration, calculating the percentage carefully so you don't mess up. "i'm almost finished... there! 87%."

heeseung looks at the paper in disappointment, his lips slowly forming a small grimace. "just 87%...?"

you let out a sigh and set your pen down. "come on, it could have been way worse. at least it's 3% away from 90%".

"fine... it's just a stupid test anyway."

‧₊˚⭑.ᐟ PARK JONGSEONG

"what's wrong? why are you sulking like that?" jay asks, trying to sneak a glance at the results of the test.

a small pout formed on your lips, taking your hand away from the paper to show him. "we got just 84%."

"if it bothers you that much, then try using jongseong instead of jay." jay suggests, gently caressing your hair.

"wait, let me try that." you says as you start scribbling on the paper again.

88%. just 4% more than the previous one.

i mean, it's just a test anyway, right?

‧��˚⭑.ᐟ SIM JAYEUN

"come on, come on, tell me already!" jake exclaims, excited to see your results.

"alright, alright, give me a second!" you try to calm him down, still writing down on the paper.

you finish, glancing at him, and then back at the paper.

"uhm... jake?"

"yeah? what is it, did you finish? show me!" he asks with his signature puppy smile.

"we got 58%."

jake's smile instantly drops. he was absolutely certain you two would get at least over 95%.

"what. no, there's no way. i refuse. this isn't valid." jake says in denial, frustrated with the test. "which one of my names did you use?"

"i used jake, you said to use that one." you reply, confused.

"try again. use jayeun instead. this thing," he claims, pointing at the piece of paper, "is not valid at all."

you just nod, trying to hold in your laugh as jake huffs in frustration, complaining quietly about the compatibility test as you try once again.

"we got 78% this time." you speak up, showing jake."

"i told you - this isn't valid! rip that shit!"

‧₊˚⭑.ᐟ PARK SUNGHOON

"so, how much did we get?" sunghoon asks curiously, despite not being interest in this test at first.

"give me a sec... we got 78%." you reply, showing him the results.

sunghoon looks at the test, skeptical, before opening his mouth again.

"what if we add our last names too for extra points?" he says with a dead serious face.

"sunghoon, that's not how it works!"

‧₊˚⭑.ᐟ KIM SUNOO

sunoo swinged his feet as he waited, playing with the decorations on the cafè table.

"why is it even taking you so long? it's not like i have a long name or something." sunoo asks curiously, sipping on his drink as he watches you.

"i finished, i was just checking if everything is right. here." you respond, handing him the piece of paper. you close your pen before grabbing your drink as well.

"84%?" he says, checking your notes. "eh... could have been better, but it's not that bad, i guess."

‧₊˚⭑.ᐟ YANG JUNGWON

"why do you need a test to prove our compatibility, anyway? we literally can't go a day without each other." jungwon states, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as his free hand twirls a strand of your hair."

it's just for fun, jungwon. i know that we don't need to prove our compatibility." you reply, glancing at him with a small smile.

he smiles back and then you set your pen down.

"there! 108%. we even broke the scale!" you exclaim.

jungwon shoots up instantly. "what?" he says, almost snatching the paper from your hands.

"woah. guess this test isn't so stupid after all."

‧₊˚⭑.ᐟ NISHIMURA RIKI

"this is stupid, my name is literally 4 letters. we're not gonna get a high score." riki says lazily, glancing at you scribbling on the paper.

"i already told you, it doesnt matter how many letters your name has, it's how many letters in common we have." you explain as you finish calculating the percentage.

you raise up the piece of paper and show him. "see? 98%."

riki's eyebrows raise in surprise as he leans closer to check. "damn. it's actually right. i thought you did some mistake on purpose just so we get a higher score."

"hey! you don't have any right to doubt my math skills when you've never stepped foot into school, you idiot!"

@jaysguitarstring 2025. translations and reposts are prohibited.

[yamayuandadu]

I remember reading that Mesopotamia doesn’t really have vampires or anything close to that is this true

The notion of a “Mesopotamian vampire” called ekimmu appears to be widespread in assorted vampire lexicons of questionable quality (ex. Bob Curran, Vampires: A Field Guide to the Creatures That Stalk the Night, p. 26-33 - I barely made it past “god Irkalla”; Stuart A. Kallen, Vampire History and Lore, p. 12-14; Brad Steiger, Real Vampires, Night Stalkers and Creatures from the Darkside, p. 1) - typically with no sources cited, or with the only sources being other similar publications.  None of this has any value.

Simply put, the ekimmu is a mirage. No such an entity is attested. More under the cut.

The last time anyone used the term ekimmu in an assyriological publication was in 1952 - in René Labat’s review criticizing the use of outdated, incorrect readings in a book written by a non-specialist relying on at best secondary sources - in this case, a mistaken old reading of the ordinary Akkadian word etemmu (p. 128). The term etemmu is the Akkadian word for what a person becomes after death - “spirit” is probably the optimal translation. It is fascinating how often the alleged “vampire” is automatically labeled as “Sumerian”; the Sumerian translation - which could actually be used as a logogram to write the Akkadian word - is gidim (Tzvi Abusch, Etemmu in Essays on Babylonian and Biblical Literature and Religion, p. 87).

According to Atrahasis, etemmu was something humans by default possess since their creation - a punning etiology derives this term from the ṭēma (“understanding”, “intelligence”) of Wê-ilu, who at least in this myth serves as the source of “raw materials” for the creation of mankind (Alhena Gadotti, ‘Gilgamesh, Enkidu, and the Netherworld’ and the Sumerian Gilgamesh Cycle, p. 112)

The fact that every single dead person was an etemmu alone should be enough to show that this term does not primarily designate a malevolent being. An etemmu whose family made sure to follow the appropriate funerary rites - burial, offerings, etc. -  would then integrate into the “society” of the underworld; this was the standard fate, reflected in a plethora of literary texts. Sometimes dead ancestors of this sort could even be invoked in exorcisms to protect the patient (Etemmu…, p. 87-89). Problems could arise in absence of a burial or funerary offerings, or in the case of the destruction of a body. An unburied, forgotten etemmu would eventually lose the grasp of their original identity, and drift towards the formless, generally poorly defined state of being associated with demons (Etemmu…, p. 88). They were simply designated as eṭemmu lemnu - “evil etemmu” (Daniel Schwemer, Any Evil, a Stalking Ghost, and the Bull-Headed Demon, p. 150). There is some evidence that such an entity could be imagined with a bull’s head, as best reflected by the description known from the Underworld  Vision  of  an  Assyrian  Prince (Any Evil…, p. 154-155). Since there is evidence that in certain situations the bellowing of a bull - or noises resembling it, including tinnitus-like symptoms - were an ill omen. Making the evil etemmu - whose appearance was a bad omen in itself - capable of emitting such noises by providing them with bovine traits would then likely reflect the widespread idea that malevolent supernatural beings were capable of making animal noises (Any Evil…, p. 158). Some sources indicate that a roaming etemmu who lost their original identity could potentially become an utukku (Etemmu…, p. 88). However, it should be noted that utukku is a notably vague category which also encompassed benevolent entities (Markham J. Geller, Udug in RlA vol. 14, p. 274).

In any case, even if we were to limit the meaning of etemmu to the most malevolent specimens - which would obviously be disingenuous and outright against the actual meaning of the term -  nothing here is really “vampiric” in any meaningful way. Doesn’t matter whether you apply this term to refer to the vaguely defined category of entities from European folklore, to movie monsters based on them, or more broadly as an umbrella term for blood-drinking legendary creatures. I suppose everything starts to look like a nail if all you have is a hammer, though - and that’s how all that vampire literature reads to me…

Granted, I am under the impression this is generally not the most rigorous of disciplines (if it’s even fair to call it that). Note that one of the very few examples to make it to jstor - James Craig Holte’s Not All Fangs Are Phallic: Female Film Vampires - couples the ekimmu claim (explicitly based on the author’s questionable interpretation of an almost century old publication) with speculation about some universal mother goddess or the like then demonized into female vampires (of the sort which really only goes back to 19th century novels), somehow (p. 163-164).

[bestiarium]

The Crawfordsville Monster [modern cryptid; urban legend]

As far as modern urban legends go, most sightings of cryptids and creatures tend to fall into one of several recognizable categories: a lake monster, a flying saucer, an ape-like creature, etc. But every once in a while you have something weirder or unique:

On April 5, 1891, a supposed monster was sighted in the skies above Crawfordsville, Indiana, in the USA. A local pastor, Reverend G. Switzer, left his house to get some water from the well in his backyard when he supposedly experienced a strange feeling somewhere between dread and awe. Uncertain what caused this feeling, he looked up to see a large serpent-like being flying through the sky. The snake moved quickly even though there was no wind that night, and seemed like it was about to land, only to change its mind and take off again.

The paster and his wife were not the only witnesses, for that same day the apparition was seen by two workers about to haul ice on their wagon. They were so frightened of the creature that they took shelter until it was out of sight.

The size of the creature varies between stories, putting it somewhere between 16 and 20 feet (5 à 6 meters). It did not have wings – although other accounts added several fins or fin-like structures – but was able to fly by means of writhing movements, not unlike those of a real snake. The monster was white and had no head, or at least no clearly visible head, but it did have a large, brightly burning eye. Despite the lack of a visible head or mouth, the monster emitted a wheezing noise.

The Crawfordsville Daily Journal named the creature ‘the Midnight Wraith’ but today it is more commonly referred to as 'the Crawfordsville Monster'.

When researching this sighting, I came across some very weird UFO theories. While they tend to strain credibility, I admit that it’s fun to theorize about, in a fantasy worldbuilding kind of way. For example, the last source I listed here mentions a theory about atmospheric creatures that live in the clouds of our planet and stay afloat because of their extremely low-density bodies. The Crawfordsville monster, supposedly, could be such a creature.

Several explanations have been put forth. Some claimed it was a spirit. Professor Robert Burton assumed that the witnesses might simply have been under influence of alcohol or drugs. A later sighting in the same location put forth a simpler, albeit anticlimactic, explanation: two men followed the flying ‘monster’ around until it came close enough for them to identify it as a giant flock of killdeer birds: local birds with a distinct white belly. There were several hundred of them in the flock, and the birds’ erratic flight pattern might have been caused by their confusion from the electric lights, and the many moving ‘fins’ of the monster would have been the wings of the different birds. Perhaps exhaustion in the early hour, combined with the dark night sky, caused the ice haulers and the pastor to mistake the flock for a monster.

Sources: Clark, J., 2005, Unnatural Phenomena: A Guide to the Bizarre Wonders of North America, Bloomsbury Publishing USA, 408 pp., 160 pp., p. 87-88. Zach, K. B., 2003, Crawfordsville, Athens of Indiana, Arcadia Publishing, p. 140-141. Hunt, C. M., 2023, Ghosts & Legends of Crawfordsville, Indiana. Haunted America, Arcadia Publishing, 160 pp., p. 12-18.

(image source 1: Mart, T.S. & Cabre, M., 2021, A Guide To Sky Monsters : Thunderbirds, The Jersey Devil, Mothman, and Other Flying Cryptids, Indiana University Press, 174 pp.) (image source: Enshohma on Deviantart)

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Your Problem, My Problem, Everybody's Problem

Summary: Reader is in love with an immensely annoying pain in the ass. Eddie Diaz is an immensely annoying pain in the ass.

TW/CW: Eddie Diaz x Kinard!Reader, Fluff?, Get Together

Requested?: No  

Word Count: 3,928

A/N: I needed to take a break from my wips so I decided to use a prompt from my prompt list but then I couldn't decide which one I wanted to use so I shoved a whole bunch of them into one imagine lmao. This was supposed to be silly goofy crack but turned into something more. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Much love to all! Requests are Open!

Prompts Used: (In Order, Not All of Them Are Word for Word) 20, 99, 100, 83, 91, 80, 42, 76, 74, 33, 22, 88, 64, 87, 94, 50, 52, 78, 97, 96, 92

--- Your POV ---

    I brush my fingers through my hair as I trudge up the stairs to the station loft. As soon as I make it to the top, I notice a catastrophe on the other end by the couches. Buck and Eddie seem to be attempting to put a bookshelf together, or at least I think it's a bookshelf. It looks a little wonky and very unstable. I pad over to lean on the back of a couch as they bicker and argue over the instructions. I watch them for a moment, noticing Eddie's back muscles flex as he snatches the instructions from his best friend and tosses them over his shoulder. I shake those thoughts from my head, reminding myself I annoyed at him right now and flop over the back of the couch. I land criss cross apple sauce and roll my eyes at them, "Do you guys need a hand?" 

    Buck snatches his hand away from the bookshelf and scowls at his pinky before sucking it and shifting his gaze to the offending shelf. Eddie looks back at me over his shoulder, "Does it look like we need help?" 

    I tilt my head at him, "Do you really want me to answer that or would you like to maintain plausible deniability for later?" 

    He rolls his eyes and squats down to fiddle with a screw just as Buck stands up and shakes his hand in pain, "Uh, Eddie... We could probably use some adult help." 

    Eddie doesn't even look away from what he's doing, "Buck, we are adults." 

    Buck looks over at me with a slightly frustrated look on his face before dropping his head back to stare at the ceiling, "Yeah, but like... an adult who is more adultier than us." 

    He looks down at Eddie who snaps his head up to glare at him, "Buck, we are two grown ass men. We can handle putting a damn bookshelf together." 

    I snicker, "Oh, so it's a bookshelf. I thought it was some weird art piece." Eddie tosses a hand out behind him to flip me off as Buck sighs in defeat and kneels down to resume helping him. I shake my head as I pull out my phone and begin scrolling through Twitter, "I swear, working with you fuckers feels like being on a reality tv show." Realizing my phone is almost dead, I sigh in frustration and get up, "Don't hurt yourselves." Neither of them responds as I make my way downstairs to grab my charger. I have just pulled it out of my locker when I hear a crash from upstairs. I wince and look back toward the loft, turning to follow my line of sight.  

    When I tip toe up the last few steps, Chimney is standing in the kitchen with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. Buck and Eddie are staring at each other with almost an accusatory look plastered on both of their faces. The bookshelf is gone but as I approach the couch and sit back down, I find that it's actually just collapsed. I sigh, "I left you two alone for maybe ten minutes." 

    From the kitchen, Chimney laughs, "Apparently, that's ten minutes too long." I look back as he heads toward the stairs and scares the shit out of me when he trips on thin air and barely prevents himself from falling down the stairs by catching the handrail. He looks up and over at us with an expression that reads, "You didn't see that," before proceeding down the stairs carefully. 

    I look back at Buck and Eddie who also witnessed Chimney's mishap and shake my head, "I'm surrounded by idiots." 

    Eddie bends over, picking up the instruction manual as Buck points at me with the screwdriver in his hand, "We may be idiots but at least we're hot and hilarious." I roll my eyes and go back to scrolling on my phone after plugging it up to charge.  

    Buck looks to Eddie, "Can we use the instructions this time?" 

    Eddie, who is angrily glaring at the booklet, grumbles, "Whatever." The two go back to their construction, this time following the manual step by step. 

    I feel like I've scrolled a few miles with my thumb, to the sound of Buck and Eddie bickering, when I feel someone messing with my hair. With one hand, the other still scrolling, I lazily swat at whoever is behind me and attempt to tug my head away. Gently they grab my head, forcing me to be still, "Shhh, stop fussing. I'm just braiding your hair."  

    Realizing it's just my older brother Tommy, I huff in annoyance but let him continue, "Maybe when you're done you can help these two numbskulls figure out how to build their little bookshelf." 

    He chuckles but has no chance to speak before Buck looks away from the shelf with clear frustration on his face that melts away upon seeing his boyfriend, "Hi baby. (Y/N), can I ask you a dumb question?" 

    Without thinking, I answer, "Better than anyone I know." 

    Tommy softly swats my forehead, "Be nice." 

    Eddie lets out a laugh before putting on a mocking pout as he looks back at us, "Someone is cranky." 

    I shoot him a bird, "Someone needs to shut the fuck up." I tilt my head back to look up at Tommy, interrupting his braiding, "They're like hurricanes in human form." 

    With a grin he gently nudges my head back up, "Trust me, I know," and resumes his little project. 

    Now with his head inside a shelf compartment, Eddie muses, "So small and cranky. It's kind of cute." 

    He pulls his head out and looks over the instruction booklet lying on the coffee table as I shoot him a nasty look, "Eddie... shut the fuck up or I'm throwing you over the damn balcony. You are-" I interrupt my own sentence in confusion as I watch him walk to the edge of the balcony and look over to the floor below. With a tilt of my head I dare ask, "What are you doing?" Tommy removes a hair band from my wrist to tie off the braid before wandering over to help Buck. 

    Eddie turns to face me with a smug grin tugging on his lips, "Checking to see how high the drop is." Shrugging, he turns his back to me to return to the shelf, "See if it's worth it."  

    I hear Tommy ask Buck what his question was as he patiently helps him position a shelf. Buck shrugs, "I forgot." 

    I clench my jaw, eyes still drilling holes into Eddie's back, "Tommy?" 

    My brother gives Buck a few instructions and hands him a screwdriver, "Yes ma'am?" 

    "Is it still murder if I give him a heads up?" I ask, feigning innocence. 

    Tommy turns to look at me with a scolding expression, "That makes it a threat, (Y/N)." 

    He returns to helping Buck as I grumpily go back to my phone with a pout, "Damn..." 

    Eddie is now digging through a bag of screws, "You know, (Y/N), violence isn't always the answer." 

    I force my eyes to stay locked on my phone as I snap back, "Maybe not but is AN answer. I've been wanting to kick your ass all week. Don’t tempt me." Eddie bursts into laughter as he finds the screw he needs. 

    Tommy looks up from the instruction booklet and frowns at Eddie, who notices and guiltily goes back to the shelf. Tommy returns to Buck's side, "Why is that, (Y/N)?" 

    I toss my phone down on the cushion under me and my hands into the air, "Because he's been deliberately annoying the piss out of me all week!" 

    Tommy hands Buck a few screws, "How so?" 

    "The other day SOMEONE," I glare at Eddie who has his head back inside the shelf, "wrote 'Honk if you love dick' on the back window of my Bronco with one of those window paint marker things. I didn't see it until Buck pointed it out." I pout as Tommy grins and both Eddie and Buck struggle to hold in their laughter. "It's not funny! I drove through downtown LA with that on my window. I was confused as fuck because I had several people honk for presumably no reason."  

    Buck and Eddie burst out laughing and Tommy, seeing the sulking pout on my face, takes a deep breath to curb his own, "Okay, so what does that have to do with Eddie?" 

    "I immediately knew he did it when he nearly hit the deck because he was laughing so hard and I punched him for it but he swore up and down that he didn't. I asked him why he was laughing then and his response was, 'Because whoever did is a fucking genius.'" I cross my arms over my chest and huff. 

    Tommy sighs deeply as Buck looks up at him, wiping tears from his eyes, "I washed it off for her but she proceeded to interrogate everyone in the station trying to find the culprit." 

    Tommy doesn't look at me, obviously trying to hide his grin, "No luck?" 

    I open my mouth to respond but Eddie beats me to it in a fit of giggles, "Nope, she even threatened to chop Ravi's balls off with the bolt cutters." 

    Tommy chances a look at me and finds me glaring at Eddie who is grinning at me innocently in attempts to calm my wrath. My brother sighs and looks at Eddie, "If she kills you, I'm gonna resurrect you so she can kick your ass again." 

    Eddie whips his head toward Tommy with an offended expression and hands up in a questioning manner, "Why?" 

    Tommy shrugs and turns to help Buck position another shelf, "Because I think it'd be funny."  

    Eddie sucks his teeth and goes digging through the bag of screws again, "I'm telling you I didn't do it." 

    Buck slams his palm against the shelf to knock it into place, "We checked the cameras. It wasn't there when she left the night before but was when she came in the next morning." 

    I jolt up from where I had plopped down to lay on the couch, "Doesn't mean he didn't do it! He knows where I live." 

    Eddie points at me with a screw, still very amused, "Correct but, like I told you several times already, I took Christopher to the movies that night." I roll my eyes and plop down on the couch with a groan. The room falls quiet aside from the various noises of bookshelf construction and occasional quiet instructions from Tommy. I have wracked my brain trying to figure out who was guilty for defacing my precious Bronco in such a way but I always come up empty handed. Something dawns on me as I remember I had stopped at the bar that night to see an old friend. 

    I shoot up like a rocket, "Do you think-" 

    Hunting for screws again, Eddie interrupts me, "All the time. I'm a good thinker." 

    I shoot him an aggravated glare, "That's not what I meant. Do you think-" 

    Eddie snickers, "Yup." 

    I hurl a throw pillow at his head, "Will you quit that? I'm trying to ask you guys something." 

    Eddie takes a deep breath, about to say something irritating again, but Tommy slaps his hand over his mouth, "Ask away." 

    I grin triumphantly, "Thank you." 

    Tommy nods, hand still silencing Eddie, "You're welcome." 

    I open my mouth to speak but, "Ugh! Now I've forgotten what I was gonna say!" I flop back down onto the couch. Tommy rolls his eyes at Eddie who has jerked away from him and burst into giggles.  

    Buck tilts his head to look around Tommy at me with an understanding look on his face, "Whenever I forget what I was going to say I just think back through the conversation that led up to it." Tommy mouths a, "Thank you," to Buck who grins proudly before nodding at me. Eddie rolls his eyes sassily and returns to the shelf.  

     I tap my chin with my pointer finger, "Well, we talked about the damn window marker vandalism and how I interrogated everyone. I explained how I still think Eddie did it..." I sit up straight, "Oh! I was gonna ask, do you guys think," I pause with a glare in Eddie's direction but he just grins at me and continues working so I continue, "that some stranger did it while I was at the bar that night?" 

     Tommy shrugs and stands up to admire their progress, "Highly possible." 

     Eddie gets up as well and dusts himself off before looking at me, "And to think you threatened Ravi's manhood for nothing." 

     Eddie only grins wide when I give him the deadliest glare known to mankind, "I'm gonna threaten your manhood if you don't shut the fuck up. And unlike with Ravi, I will follow through." 

     Buck is still working on the shelf as Tommy ruffles his hair before taking a seat beside me on the couch and pointing for Eddie to help him. I glare daggers into Eddie's back as he obliges. It's quiet for a few beats before Tommy leans over to whisper so quietly in my ear that I barely even hear him, "I know your secret." 

     Not taking my eyes off Eddie and not bothering to whisper, I seek clarification, "Which one? You're going to have to be more specific there, bud. I have a lot of skeletons in my closet that even you don't know about." 

     He again whispers but I can hear the grin on his face, "I think you're in love." 

     I whip my head to glare at him so fast that my neck cracks, "I think you're delusional." 

     He grins and looks back toward Buck and Eddie, "I think you're in denial." 

     Having completed the bookshelf, Eddie makes his way over to us with Buck right behind him, "Closet skeletons? Delusional? In denial? What are we talking about? Give me the tea." 

     I raise an eyebrow at him, "First of all, never say, 'give me the tea,' again. It sounds weird coming out of your mouth," Buck snorts out a laugh, "Second, we're talking about how you're a sack of shit, fuck off." I punctuate my explanation by flipping him off. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head as he walks away chuckling. 

     Tommy is not convinced and very determined to make me feel called out, "(Y/N), when he's not looking, you stare at him like he's everything you could ever want or need." 

     Hoping he hears how offended I am in my tone, I refuse to look at him as I respond, "I call bullshit. That's slander." 

     A look of realization crosses Buck's face, shortly followed by a hint of teasing in his tone, "He's not wrong and you know it." 

     I groan dramatically and slam my head against the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling, "You guys are starting to get on my nerves too. Don't you think he does that enough for all three of you?" 

     Tommy pats my knee before lifting himself up off the couch with a grunt, "Only because you feel called out." 

     "Shut up," I grumble as he and Buck leave me be. 

     Throughout the rest of the shift, I maintain my pissed off demeanor and even do my best to avoid Eddie. I feel bad about both but I really don't need anyone trying to question me on where my head is at right now. Where is my head exactly? Stuck thinking about Eddie motherfucking Diaz. I've spent all day trying to convince myself that Tommy is wrong and I don't love him but I ultimately fail. As per usual, my big brother is right... I shuffle out of the bathroom and head to the locker room to pack up and go home.  

     I grumpily shove clothes into my duffle bag and mentally debate between tacos or sushi for dinner. I finally decide I'm too tired and fed up to stop for food on the way home and will just eat the leftovers from last night as I zip my bag and hoist it up onto my shoulder. I make a 180 turn to head for the door but am stopped in my tracks and jump a little when I see Eddie leaning in the doorway. I halfheartedly glare at him, "Scare the shit out of me why don't you?" 

     He laughs softly and drops his gaze, "Sorry." I swear I saw a hint of a blush on his but decide I’m delusional. I shuffle nervously on my feet and run my fingers through my hair. When he lifts his gaze again and makes direct eye contact with me, I scold myself because my heart involuntarily skips a beat. He clears his throat, "Can we talk?" 

     I fidget with the strap of my duffle for a second before dropping it to my feet and plopping down on the bench, shrugging, "I guess." 

     He cautiously shuffles over to sit beside me, "You guess?" The only response I can muster up is another shrug, eyes trained on the locker in front of me. He rests his elbows on his knees and interlocks his fingers, eyes locked on the tiles under our feet, "Listen, I've been a real dick lately." 

     I attempt to calm my racing heart with a few deep breaths so it doesn't betray me, "That's understatement of the year." 

     I can feel his puppy dog eyes burning into my cheek when he looks up from the floor, "I know... I'm sorry, I just-" 

     Before I can stop myself, I tear my eyes away from the locker to give him a confused look, "Just what?" 

     He takes a deep breath and returns to inspecting the tiles, "I just think it’s cute when you're annoyed... I didn't mean to actually piss you off." 

     I sigh deeply and feel a tinge of guilt in my chest, "What makes you think you pissed me off?"  

     He shrugs, gaze shifting to my shoes, "You've been snappier than normal ever since this morning. You also started avoiding me... I figured it took it too far..." 

     I wipe my palms on my jeans and shake my head, "That's not- You didn't piss me off. If anything, Tommy did." 

     I don't miss the protectiveness in his tone and posture when he whips his head to look at me finally, "What? Do I need to kick his ass?" 

     I giggle, unable to prevent myself from admiring how cute he is when he's protective, "No, no... He didn't really piss me off. He just- he got under my skin... He called me out on something and it rubbed me the wrong way." 

     The mixture of concern and confusion on his face is kind of adorable as he asks, "What do you mean?" 

     Feeling heat rise to my cheeks, I shift my gaze to anything that is not Eddie. I chew on the inside of my cheek for a few seconds before attempting a humorous tone and admitting, "He called me out on the fact that I'm in love with an immensely annoying pain in the ass." 

     In my peripheral, I notice disappointment grace his features before he quickly molds it into something else and looks away, "Oh..." 

     Slightly surprised, I find myself staring at the side of his face. Taking a huge risk on a hunch, I clarify, "It's you, dipshit. You're the immensely annoying pain in the ass." 

     His eyes snap to mine as he smiles a smile that makes my heart flutter, "Really?" 

     Nudging him with my elbow, I nod, "Yes, no matter how frustrated I get with your relentless teasing, at the end of the day I find myself falling head over heels for you." 

     His eyes dart to my lips for a split second before he whispers, "thank god," promptly taking my face in his hands and kissing me so hard it punches the breath out of my lungs. I immediately kiss back, feeling my heart swell with happiness. My hands find their way to his forearms where I rub small circles with my thumbs. When we finally break apart, he doesn't go far but let's one hand fall intertwining our fingers. With his other hand, he holds my chin, preventing me from retreating even if I wanted to.  

     He pecks another quick kiss against my lips before whispering, "Do you think you love me enough to put up with my immensely annoying pain in the ass self more often than just work? Often enough to be my girlfriend?" 

     With the hand I still have on his forearm, I squeeze gently and nod with a smile on my face, "Of course." I push in to kiss him again but am unfortunately interrupted by a commotion coming from the loft. He chuckles softly as we both look toward the noise. Through the glass wall we find Tommy and Buck standing upstairs with bright smiles, clapping and cheering. 

     Now that we've noticed them, Buck races down the stairs and enters the locker room chanting, "Double date, double date, double date." 

     Upon catching up to his excited boyfriend, Tommy rolls his eyes and drapes an arm around Buck's waist, "Slow down, Babe. Let them go on a date just the two of them first." 

     Buck playfully pouts and crosses his arms over his chest, "Fineeeee." 

     He quickly drops his pouty posture as Tommy shakes his head with a smile and offers his hand to Eddie, "She's your problem now." 

     Eddie shakes his hand with a chuckle before locking eyes with me again and grinning, "Happily." 

     He presses a kiss to my nose but I pull away pretending to be offended, "Hey! If anything, YOU are MY problem now. I'm not an annoying little shithead." 

     I lean back toward Eddie, who kisses my cheek, as Tommy states, "No, but you are crafted with heavy notes of, 'These hands are rated E for everyone,' and, 'Hey ma, watch this.' Not to mention the dash of, 'Chaos is my middle name.'" 

     Buck slowly turns to look at him with a massive grin, "Must run in the family." Tommy rolls his eyes and pulls Buck closer, kissing his temple. 

     Eddie presses his forehead against mine and holds out his pinky, "What'd you say we team up and become everyone's problem?" 

     Giggling, I wrap my pinky around his to seal the promise, "Deal." 

     Eddie doesn't pull away or drop my pinky, "I know where to buy window markers." 

     I grin mischievously but before I can say anything, Tommy lets out a very exasperated sigh, "You two do know we're still here, right?" As Eddie and I separate, Tommy gently tugs Buck toward the exit. They make it a few steps out of the doorway before Tommy pokes his head back in, "And don't you even dare think about taking a marker to my windows." 

     We watch them make their way toward the station door as Eddie muses, "That's exactly what we're gonna do, isn't it?" 

     I wiggle excitedly in my seat, "Yup." 

     When the door closes behind them, he looks back at me, checks his watch, and grins, "I think if we hurry, we can make it to the store before it closes." 

     I jump up, grab my bag from the floor, and with our still interlocked hands, drag Eddie in the same direction we watched them leave. He laughs behind me, barely managing to grab his own duffle on our way out. 

More 911

Main Masterlist

[zahri-melitor]

I am trying to fit this time line of self destruction on Dick's part together and seriously events seem to go like this:-

Nightwing #80-82 (June-Aug 2003): Slade turns up to harass Dick in Bludhaven, Dick is fired from the BPD.

Outsiders #1 (Aug 2003): Roy asks Dick to join Outsiders and promises that he doesn't need to be friends/family with the team. (Roy is unknowingly being fed targets by Slade)

Outsiders #5 (Dec 2003): Roy gets shot 5 times in the chest, Dick feels guilt over it and has to take full charge of the team.

Outsiders #6 (Jan 2004): The Outsiders have to allow the entire inhabitants of the Slab to break out and escape as the Slab is destroyed. The team are blamed in the media for this.

Nightwing #87 (Jan 2004): Babs tells Dick they need to take a break.

Nightwing #88 (Feb 2004): Haly's Circus burns down.

Nightwing #89 (March 2004): Dick's apartment building blows up killing all residents apart from Dick and Amygdala.

Nightwing #93 (July 2004): Dick turns away as Catalina shoots Blockbuster, Dick has a panic attack, Catalina comes to find Dick on the rooftop as he despairs and she sexually assaults Dick.

Nightwing #95 (Sep 2004): Catalina tries to pressure Dick into marrying her, is blocked by Bruce calling Dick to come back to Gotham due to War Games.

War Games (Oct-Dec 2004): Dick has to fight a gang war and is assigned by Bruce to work with Catalina through it as Dick hasn't spoken to Bruce about what happened. Dick ends up with a serious leg injury.

Outsiders #19-20 (Feb-Mar 2005): Lian is kidnapped by child slavers and rescued. (Arguably could take place prior to War Games)

Outsiders #20-22 (Mar-May 2005): Bruce revealed to be funding the Outsiders, Dick goes and yells at Bruce about this, Slade revealed to have been funneling information to Roy and pretending to be Batman. (Again cannot be long after War Games, probably before)

Nightwing #100 (Feb 2005): Dick and Babs officially break up, Dick walks away from being a superhero, Dick has not spoken to Bruce.

Teen Titans & Outsiders #24-25 (July-Aug 2005): Both teams have characters get controlled - Kon by Lex and Indigo by Brainiac 8, at the end of the storyline Dick quits. This has to be after Identity Crisis but must be not long after Nightwing #100 given Dick has not yet gone undercover. Also Dick has theoretically been hiding a leg injury and brace for a period here.

Outsiders #26 (Sep 2005): Dick has sex with Kory.

Nightwing #107 (June 2005): Dick is now undercover with the mob and has been for some time. MUST come after the events above.

Nightwing #112 (Nov 2005): Slade talks Dick into training Rose.

Nightwing #114 (Jan 2006): Roy turns up, mad, and argues with Dick to come back.

Nightwing #116: (March 2006): Bludhaven has gone boom. Thanks so much, Slade.

TL:DR; there's a whole chunk of Outsiders in 2005 that has to have happened approximately around War Games due to Dick's knee injury, and since Teen Titans spent six months of title hopping through time immediately prior, you can shift both titles for their crossover right up to very shortly after War Games/Identity Crisis in terms of 'Jack is dead but Dick's not yet undercover'.

Actually thinking about it more, it's even more complicated than that, because Teen Titans #20 suggests Outsiders #16 occurred after it, unless Kory's been simultaneously on both teams. I think I have to read this as Kory has been on both teams at the same time to make any of this make sense.

This results in Dick having broke up officially with Babs and then almost immediately had Bad Idea Sex with Kory (after also having been assaulted by Catalina at least once and potentially multiple times while he's in the daze where Catalina tries to convince him that they should get married).

(Seriously why is everyone in Outsiders having random sex with people who are a Very Bad Idea)

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 87)

She pulled N into their apartment with a groan, having been tensely silent the entire walk, with a huff, she grabbed a sleepy Tera out of N's arms, and with a breif kiss to her delicate head, went to put her in the crib.

“What's wrong? Why’d we rush out like that?” N was right behind her, looking worried. It didn't take long for Uzi to back out of the bedroom and begin to shrug off her hoodie.

A soft blush took over his face, tail kinking up as her clothes hit the floor.

“O-Oh… Uh, R-right now?” He stammered, surely she didn't have them leave early just so that they could have some alone time? That was unlike her. Though it wasn't like the nest was much privacy lately either…

She looked at him strangly, before blushing, realizing how it looked without any context.

“N-No! Dummy, not that. Come here.” She opened her side panel, huffing again as she pulled out all the paper she was using to stop the flow of thick oil, “Eugh…” She whined as it stuck to the paper, leaving strings of oil to come off her.

“Are you bleeding?! Are you hurt?! Is the baby-” He immediately panicked, closing the distance and grabbing onto her shoulder so he could take a closer look, she grabbed the bottom of his chin to shut him up.

“No. I'm fine. Everything's fine. I think, I just need you to test something.” She hummed, pointing over to the fridge where they kept Tera's oil supply. “Get out one of Tera's filled bottles and take off the top, and bring me a empty one, please.”

He did what he was told, quickly setting out one full tiny bottle and handing her an empty one, she took a deep breath and began to fill the new one, he could already tell that this was different… she looked way less uncomfortable and more relieved.

She sat down the newly filled bottle next to the pre-filled one. And then went to go put back on her undershirt with a sigh.

“You have sensors that tell you what somethings made out of, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me the difference between the two.” She explained, pointing to the two bottles on the counter.

He flushed gold, now for a whole new reason.

“But… I'd have to taste them…”

He didn’t care about drinking his girlfriends oil with her permission, but drinking it from a bottle she'd filled with the express purpose of giving to their daughter felt wrong on so many levels.

“It's just oil. I just wanna make sure it's not unsafe for her to drink.”

“But… the human equivalent!” He whined, maybe it was his time at the manor making him feel that way, the time spent with humans making this simple act feel extremely strange.

“Then don't think about the human equivalent! There's no difference between the oil in the bottle and the oil currently keeping me alive!” She argued, and she wasn't wrong, but it didn't make him feel any different about it.

“We've shared oil before babe. It's not any different.” She said a little softer, now dressed and standing behind him, leaning on his arm.

That was true… one night, during a particularly passionate evening. A heated kiss had turned into a double bite, each other's oil pouring into their mouths. It was one of the most intimate things they'd both experienced. But this situation was entirely different.

Still… he didn't want it to be unsafe for Tera either.

He tipped the first small bottle into his mouth and it went down like a shot glass, she was right, it tasted no different then any other time he'd gotten a taste of her oil, even if he did think her’s was the best tasting.

“Just oil. Like normal.” The sensors in his mouth read out normally. 100% pure machine oil; And he made sure the taste was out of his mouth before he eyed the new one and tipped it between his lips.

It was thick and coated his throat, he made a scrunched up expression as intense sweetness spread in his mouth. His sensors got to work.

50% machine oil, 25% organic protein, 25% electrolyte solution.

He blinked.

“Uh, it's…not the same, but… nothing is being tagged as harmful, if anything it's being accepted into my system better.” He said, a little bit surprised at that fact himself.

“What is it then?”

“You want the basic answer or the complicated answer?” He asked seriously.

“Basic I guess?”

“It's oil mixed with milk.”

Uzi blinked, blushed, then looked grossed out, and then horrified.

“That's fucking gross! Are you serious?!” She whined, N nodding his head solemnly, trying to repress that fact himself considering he just drank it.

“Why am I made like this…?” She despaired, covering her visor with both hands with a sigh.

“Aaaand scoop!” In an instant, N was lifting her bridal style, taking her towards the bedroom. “It's decompress time, let's not think too hard about it!”

“I wanna go back to noooormaaaal.” She moaned, completely distraught at this new information. “I'm gross and huge and feel like garbage!”

“You're beautiful and perfect and absolutely nothing is wrong with you.” He replied, laying her on the bed with a certain kind of gentleness, pressing a kiss onto her rounded stomach.

“I don't know how you can still look at me the same way! And It's just going to keep getting worse! If this is exactly like a human pregnancy, it's not going to be 5 months, it's going to be 9! That's really close to launch day!” She went on a small, stress enduced angry rant that N just let her work through for a moment while he took his hat and coat off, replacing it with a loose fitting black shirt.

“Agh!” She finished up as N crawled into bed beside her. Resting his head on her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her gently, purring.

He didn't even have to say anything anymore, all he had to do was hold her and purr and she already knew what he would say if he did grace her with his words. That she was beautiful no matter what and literally nothing could change how he felt about her, especially something as shallow as her changing appearance.

She sighed.

“I definitely don't feel it…”

He smiled and placed long, trailing kisses down her neck, still purring, now wrapping her up in his tail, his hands making feather light touches up her sides until she was shivering every time they made a pass.

“You want me to be honest?” He hummed, finally, after she started to relax and lean into his chest, basking a bit in his warmth that surrounded her own core like a warm embrace, chasing off the feeling of cold she was often left with.

“This might sound weird, but… I'm really attracted to how you look right now…” He admitted softly.

“You're just saying that…”

“No! It's true! I don't know why but… you, being like this, with our baby. You still being so wonderful with Tera… I-” He stops, embarrassed, before smiling warily “I kinda want to… do this again.”

Uzi turned onto her side to look at him, completely befuddled, though flustered, and possibly a little bit angry.

“You are not getting me pregnant again anytime soon. I will take a copy of your code and develop a special firewall for myself if I have to.” She said, being completely serious, and he smiled again.

“I figured as much.” He chuckled, leaning back into her shoulder and closing his eyes. “But you understand what I mean. I love you either way.”

She looked down at the comforter, sighing and rolling her eyes before looking back up at his soft expression, she returned it.

“Yeah… I do, I love you too, N.”

He leaned down to nuzzle her visor, a spark jumping between them as they laughed and connected their lips, enjoying the moment of privacy…

Next ->

[katyspersonal]

400+ characters in Elden Ring

my sister in radagon I struggle to name more than 30 💀

(In regards to this ( x ) post) Don't worry, there are just too many and it is fair to choose your 'group' and focus on them! Besides, I've got your back! I've listed them all under cut! But first things first:

It is actually ~283 characters! I swear I've misremembered somehow dhfhsfs ;-; Feel free to revoke my loredigger privilege and never trust me on anything ever again fdshfdhs

Like I said, it is about ~283 characters / ~82 of them are women / only 10 of them are buff or fully armoured (and only 4 of them have a dialogue). That's ~3.5% of the total Elden Ring's cast!

1) Torrent

2) Melina

3) Gloam-Eyed Queen

4,5) "canon" Godskin Duo

6) Maliketh

7) Scadutree Avatar

8) Elden Beast / Ring

9) Marika

10) the Grandmother

11) Radagon

12) Misbegotten Crusader

13) his distinct red wolf

14) a hero in Gelmir that was given one of Radagon's wolves I am not even kidding

15) Godwyn

16) Kristoff

17) Niall

18) Fortissax

19) Lansseax

20) Granssax

21) Godfrey

22) Godefroy

23) Godrick

24, 25, 26, 27, 28) five children of Godrick

29) Gostoc

30) Edgar

31, 31) Irina, Hyetta

33) Revenger

34) Mohg

35) Varre

36) Ansbach

37) Nataan

38) Nerijus

39) Ravenmont

40) Esgar

41) Okina

42) Formless Mother

43) Morgott

44) Oleg

45) Engvall

46) Messmer

47) Messmer's pet hippo :3

48) Kood

49) Queelign

50) Salza

51) Wego

52) Hilde

53) Base Serpent

54) Andreas

55) Huw

56) Edredd

57) Garrew

58) Miquella

59) Loretta

60) Leda

61) Dane

62) Trina

63) Thiollier

64) Dolores

65) Putrescent Knight

66) Malenia

67) God of Rot

68) Moore

69) Finlay

70) Millicent

71, 72, 73, 74) Mary, Maureen, Amy, Polianna

75) the sixth sister

76) Gowry

77) Cleanrot Knight in Stillwater Cave that is connected with Gowry's story

78) Blind Swordsman

79) Blue Dancer / Water Fairy

80) Maleigh

81) Elemer

82) Ranni

83) Celes

84) that ghost guy that says he welcomes Ranni

85) Blaidd

86) Iji

87) Bols

88) Darriwil

89) Adula

90) Floh

91) Seluvis

92) Pidia

93) Therolina

94) Jarwight

95, 96, 97) three other puppets (an Omenkiller, a Nox Swordsman, a Perfumer)

98) the woman whose body was used for Sellen to live in it again

99) Radahn

100) Leonard

101) Ogha

102) Freyja

103) O'Neil

104) Jerren

105) teacher of Radahn and Ogha

106) Red Bear

107) Dancer of Ranah

108) Rakshasa

109) Knight of the Solitary Gaol

110) Rykard

111) Daedicar

112) Zorayas

113) Eiglay

114) Winged Serpent

115) Ghiza

116) ghost guy in Volcano Manor

117) Tanith's bodyguard

118) Devonia

119) Siluria

120) Ordovis

121) Tanith

122) Bernahl

123) Bernahl's Maiden

124) Patches

125) Henricus

126) Anastasia

127) Diallos

128) Lanya

129) Juno

130) Alexander

131) Jar Bairn

132) Great Jar

133) three Great Jar warriors

134) Rennala

135) Rellana

136) Renna / Snowy Crone

137) Moongrum

138) Moonrithyll

139) Miriam

140) the first Carian Queen / Astrologer who discovered a Moon first

141) Carian woman depicted amongst others on Raya Lucaria's portraits (could be named Grana?)

142) Lazuli guy from Raya Lucaria portraits

(^^^ they might be the two non-Demigods yet buried in Liurnian's Mausoleums without bells or knights)

143) Sellen

144) Azur

145) Lusat

146, 147) the Twin Sages

148) Carolos

149) Olivinus

150) Hugues

151) Rabbath

152) Lhutel

153, 154, 155, 156, 157) other five dead Demigods (one is a bastard child of Marika lol)

158) Miriel

159) twin Omens guarding passage to Snowfields

160) Carmaan

161) Tricia

162) Miranda

163) Rollo

164) Dung Eater

165) Boggart

166) Boggart's friend that died behind the scenes

167) Tiche

168) Alecto

169) Fia

170) Rogier

171) Lionel

172) three preset Fia's champions

173) Vyke

174) Vyke's Maiden

175) that Finger Maiden who is found dead at Church of Anticipation

176) Gideon

177) Nepheli

178) Alberich

179) Ensha

180) Enia

181) Vargram

182) Wilhelm

183) Rileigh

184) Crepus

185) Istvan

186) Tragoth

187) Neidhardt

188) Roderika

189) Hewg

190) Goldmask

191) Corhyn

192, 193) Darian, Devin

194) Latenna

195) Lobo

196) Albus

197) Phillia

198) Gaius

199) Gaius' girlfrend/wife

200) Gaia

201) Romina

202) Hornsent Grandam

203) Grandam's dead son

204) Hornsent (the character)

205) Lamenter

206) Meera

207) Labirith

208) Jori

209) Ymir

210) Metyr

211, 212) Jolan, Anna

213, 214) those Nox women whom puppetry originates from

215, 216, 217, 218) four Silver Tears

219) Asimi ("canon" Mimic Tear)

220) Astel in Eternal City

221) Aurelia

222) Aurelitte

223) Boc

224) Boc's mother

225) Kenneth

226) Gilika, Maggie, Margot and Marigga (named Demi-Human Queens)

227) dead Demihuman Queen in Fort Haight

228) Onze

229) Garris

230, 231) two children of Garris

232) wife of Garris

233) Fell God

234) last Fire Giant

235) Arghanthy

236) Adan

237) Birac

238) Amon

239) a unique wounded Black Knife

240) Serosh

241) Stormhawk King

242) Deenh

243) Placidusax

244) Placi's God

245) that woman depicted in Farum Azula

246) Gladius looking mfer ALSO depicted in Farum Azula

247) Florissax

248) Eleonora

249) Ancient Dragon man

250) Senessax

251) Bayle

252) Igon

253) Greyoll

254) Greyll

255) Smarag

256) Ekzykes

257) Agheel

258) Borealis

259) Makar

260) Theodorix

261, 262, 263, 264, 265) five children of Greyoll (no I am not excluding them, they are non-respawning and killing each chips away from Greyoll's HP :( )

266) Yura

267) Shabriri

268) Kale

269) Midra

270) Nanaya

271) Madding Hand

272) the singular sealed Three Fingers

273) a Tarnished that befriended Ancestral Followers

274) Magnus

275) Logur

276) Rugalea

278) Ralva

279) the Outer God that Twinbird served

280) Twinbird

281, 282, 283) Rhia, Dheo and Miyr can be names of Two Fingers like Celes

284) bruh, you

___________________

Cut Content:

Floral Crucible person (in cut content tailsman)

Rico

Shane

Ondrej

Gnarrl

Guilbert

Goliath

Lacrima

[etherealyoonghwa]

310 Prompt List

1. "We're not just friends and you fucking know it."

2. "Please don't cry. I can't stand to see you cry."

3. "Stay with me."

4. "Walk out that door and we're through."

5. "Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything."

6. "I can't breathe."

7. "I hate how much I love you."

8. "Why are you so jealous?"

9. "Where do you think you're going."

10. "Just leave me alone."

11. "I need some time."

12. "Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself."

13. "You can't keep pretending it didn't happen, cause guess what? It did!"

14. "Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to."

15. "Stop pretending you're okay, cause I know you're not."

16. "Just talk to me."

17. "Bite me."

18. "If you insist."

19. "I think I'm in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me."

20. "I think you're just afraid to be happy."

21. "Why are you so nice to me."

22. "Choose me."

23. "We'll get through this, I promise."

24. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad."

25. "You're mine. I don't share."

26. "Just shut up and kiss me."

27. "If we get caught I'm blaming you."

28. "Make me."

29. "Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now"

30. "I think I forgot how to breath."

31. "Stop biting that fucking lip!"

32. "You're blushing."

33. "I missed something didn't I?"

34. "You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?"

35. "Well this is awkward."

36. "Is that my shirt?"

37. "You look like you need a hug."

38. "I can't believe you don't like Disney movies."

39. "Please come home, I miss you."

40. "You're so fucking adorable."

41. "How can you still look so attractive while crying."

42. "I'm pregnant."

43. "You're lucky you're cute."

44. "Cuddle me."

45. "Sometimes I really don't like you."

46. "What if I told you I've been in love with you since we were kids."

47. "You're seriously like a man-child."

48. "You're getting crumbs all over my bed."

49. "Im too sober for this."

50. "Oh god, I need a drink."

51. "Are you hurt?"

52. "For you, I would do anything."

53. "Please never ever do that again."

54. "Your hugs are the best."

55. "Your kisses are the best."

56. "Please come back to bed."

57. "Here, you're freezing. Take my jacket."

58. "Wanna dance?"

59. "Use your words."

60. "I wish I could hate you."

61. "Your avoiding me."

62. "You're the one avoiding me."

63. "Kiss me."

64. "Are you going to kiss me."

65. "Take a picture it will last longer."

66. "Make me."

67. "You are my home."

68. "I love you."

69. "Where is my wife."

70. "So you want to be a hero?"

71. "You're okay."

72. "Look at me."

73. "Be venerable with me."

74. "I don't know when it happened, but I fell in love with you, even though I know you can't love me back."

75. "You can't love me back, right?"

76. "You don't think she's lying, do you?"

77. "Oh, I know she's lying. I already caught her in it."

78. "I'd apologize for intruding, but I think it was warranted."

79. "Oh now you want to be the hero! But never when I asked for help!"

80. "I don't want to lose you."

"Then you need to change. You can't treat me like this."

81. "What are you, a detective?"

82. "Do you understand that you're hurting people?"

83. "Oh, yes. The thing is I simply don't care."

84. "Do you love me?"

85. "You've changed." "I had to."

86. "Remember when I told you there would come a time where you just need to trust me? Now's that time."

87. "Will you stop moving, I'm trying to help you."

88. "You know I love you right?"

89. "I'm worried I can't keep you safe."

90. "This is a secret you're going to have to let me keep."

91. "Is it weird that I find that hot?"

92. "I love you, please don't go."

93. "Stay here tonight."

94. "Please don't walk out of that door."

95. "I thought things were going great."

96. "Don't you love me?"

97. "You make every day worth living."

98. "I'll keep you warm."

99. "I'm never letting you go."

100. "You meant too much to me."

101. "I won't let you."

102. "How could you ask me that?"

103. "Don't you trust me?"

104. "I won't let anyone hurt you, you're safe with me."

105. "You look amazing tonight."

106. "Shouldn't you be with him/her?"

107. "I've got you."

108. "I can't sleep, can I stay here?"

109. "It's late. Shouldn't you be asleep?"

110. "How are you feeling today?"

111. "You look amazing tonight."

112. "We'll figure this out."

113. "This isn't goodbye."

114. "What's cookin' good lookin'?"

115. "Wanna go grab a drink?"

116. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

117. "Here, let me help you."

118. "I care about you."

119. "You could have warned me!"

120. "That was unexpected."

121. "You haven't lost me."

122. "Why are you doing this?"

123. "Don't cry."

124. "Please don't do this."

125. "You make me feel safe."

126. "You've shown me what love can feel like."

127. "Thank you, for everything."

128. "All I wanted was for you to be happy."

129. "I can't do this on my own."

130. "I wasn't lying when I said that I loved you."

131. "Don't be afraid."

132. "You're always on my mind."

133. "You have no idea how much I want you right now."

134. "You've always felt like home."

135. "I can't imagine this world without you."

136. "Dance with me."

137. "Trust me."

138. "Why are you crying?"

139. "Who hurt you?"

140. "Nothing is wrong with you."

141. "You make me feel alive."

142. "I wouldn't change a thing about you."

143. "Who cares about what they think?"

144. "Let's go."

145. "I'm not going anywhere."

146. "Tell me what's wrong."

147. "You've always got me."

148. "I've waited for this moment for a long time."

149. "Is this okay?"

150. "You look like you could use a hug."

151. "Did you need something?"

152. "Do you have a ride home?"

153. "I am home."

154. "What happened back there?"

155. "That's not gonna happen."

156. "Why me?"

157. "I'm right where I belong."

158. "What do you want me to say?"

159. "After everything we've been through, you still don't think that I love you?"

160. "You've been drinking tonight, haven't you?"

161. "You need sleep."

162. "Excuse me?"

163. "What are you doing?"

164. "What did you expect?"

165. "You're not alone."

166. "We're meant for each other."

167. "You're worth it."

168. "I don't care what anyone else thinks."

169. "I've always been honest with you."

170. "It's cold, you should take my jacket."

171. "Just breathe, okay?"

172. "When I'm with you, I'm happy."

173. "Going somewhere?"

174. "Don't lie to me."

175. "Don't be scared, I'm right here."

176. "You're so adorable."

177. "I'm better, now that you're here."

178. "I could never forget you."

179. "Forget it."

180. "That's in the past."

181. "You make me happy."

182. "You're more than that."

183. "I won't lose you too."

184. "Come cuddle."

185. "Can't you stay a little longer?"

186. "It's not that easy."

187. "I've had enough."

188. "I fell in love with you, not them."

189. "You're the only one I wanna wake up next to."

190. "Well, what can I say? I'm a badass."

191. "Define normal."

192. "Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?"

193. "Just remember if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English."

194. "Don't look for any redeeming qualities. I don't have any."

195. "It's amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm."

196. "I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass."

197. "And you wonder why you're still single."

198. "Remind me to kill you. Please."

199. "I'm listening to you. I'm just not paying attention."

200. "That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?"

201. "Were you dropped on your head?"

202. "She's crazy. And just when you think you've reached the bottom of her craziness, there's a crazy underground garage."

203. "She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she's latex and whips."

204. "If my day gets any worse, I'm asking hell if they're having an exchange program."

205. "Sorry. I don't speak skank."

206. "If I survive, can I go home?"

207. "My middle finger salutes you."

208. "This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you."

209. "I don't think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let's be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun."

210. "I don't have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel."

211. "Insanity run in my family. It practically gallops."

212. "Oh darling. Go buy a brain."

213. "Somebody's cranky." "Somebody needs to shut up."

214. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

215. "All due respect, but that's a bunch of crap."

216. "I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind."

217. "Excuse me. I have to go make a scene."

218. "What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?" "That it's offensive to the devil?"

219. "I heard that!" "You were supposed to!"

220. "I need therapy after this."

221. "You didn't get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly."

222. "I'm not weird. I am limited edition."

223. "I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned."

224. "I think you're weird." "I think you're boring."

225. "If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur."

226. "You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?"

227. "I'm afraid I've been thinking..." "A dangerous pastime."

228. "I'd explain it to you, but you're brain would explode."

229. "Wow, there's a big surprise. I think I'm going to have a heart attack and die from surprise."

230. "I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make you ancestors dizzy."

231. "Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!"

232. "Sarcasm is the body's natural reaction to stupidity."

233. "You're good. A monster pain in the ass... but you're good."

234. "Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!"

235. "The female of the species is more deadly than the male."

236. "Don't look in her eyes, she might steal your soul."

237. "She's hot, but she's evil."

238. "Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably."

239. "I already know that I'm going to hell. At this point it's really go big or go home."

240. "Go on, knock his teeth down his throat."

241. "You're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater."

242. "What's the point in screaming? No one's listening anyway."

243. "I'm not a damsel in distress. I'm a damsel doing damage."

244. "So stick that in your juice box and suck it."

245. "Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway."

246. "This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some... No. No, no, all bad."

247. "A little gasoline... blowtorch... no problem."

248. "Good, bad, I'm the one with the gun."

249. "I know you can't kill anybody, 'cause I can't kill anybody."

250. "You're insane, but you might also be brilliant."

251. "What you call insanity, I call inspiration."

252. "Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies."

253. "Why should we date?" "Because we are attracted to each other." "I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie."

254. "Why does everyone assume the worst of me." "It saves time."

255. "I like you. You're different."

256. "You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality."

257. "Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation."

258. "You're questioning my methods." "I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid."

259. "Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal."

260. "I didn't do it!" "Then why are you laughing?" "Because whoever did it is a freaking genius."

261. "Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots."

262. "You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions."

263. "I care so little, I almost passed out."

264. "Well behaved woman rarely make history."

265. "You're so weird." "You have no idea."

266. "The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor."

267. "You haven't even seen my bad side yet."

268. "Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit."

269. "How's life treating you?" "Like I ran over it's dog."

270. "Rule number one: don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not going to change."

271. "Oh God, we're not gonna have to hug or anything, are we."

272. "I'm so glad you could come." "Cut the crap. Give me a drink."

273. "You make no sense to me." "Welcome to my life."

274. "Have fun being deal." "I will."

275. "Damn, you're strong for a little thing."

276. "It's called thinking. Go with it."

277. "I made a new friend today." "Real or imaginary?" "Imaginary."

278. "Where have you been all my life?" "Hiding from you."

279. "I'm getting real bored and impatient. I don't do bored and impatient."

280. "The girl is strange no question."

281. "Do us a favor... I know it's difficult for you... but please, stay here, and try no to do anything... stupid."

282. "I know most people don't like me; I don't care, I don't like most people."

283. "You are a very strange person." "Well, thanks for noticing."

284. "I can tell that you think what you're saying is funny, but... no."

285. "I didn't steal it. I permanently borrowed it."

286. "I'm not shy. I'm just examining my prey."

287. "If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs."

288. "I don't dislike you, I nothing you."

289. "Are you crying? No, I'm impersonating a fountain."

290. "Ah, he's playing hard-to-get. That's cute."

291. "You're kinda anti-social, you know that?"

292. "I feel like a freakin' soccer mom."

293. "My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass."

294. "I'm just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now."

295. "My ex? Yeah, I'd still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat."

296. "She's complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack."

297. "And just like everything else we do around here, it's about to get weirder."

298. "Such big evil in such a little thing."

299. "Why do I still like you, knowing you're a total asshole?"

300. "What does not kill you will likely try again."

301. "Oh honey, I would but... I don't want to."

302. "And hello to you too... little homewrecker."

303. "I'm gonna make you wish you were dead."

304. "I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off."

305. "What doesn't kill me might make me kill you."

306. "In another life, I think I was in a mental institution."

307. "I'm not crazy. I'm just interesting."

308. "Don't make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey."

309. "This is fun." "Seriously, we're trying to hide a body."

310. "Look here, tough guy-"

[autism-autobot]

Flower of a Poisonous Seed Part 88:

Part 87:

"Hey, my shirt doesn't cover my tummy anymore."

"Looks like you have finally outgrown your clothes, little brother!"

Demon Bull King was happy to finally take part in one of Wukong's recovery milestones. Wukong had been wearing thinner, more form-fitting clothes that he found comfortable in the Bull Family's warm home. Those clothes were sized extra-small. Now, Wukong would have to wear small or medium clothes.

Princess Iron Fan came along on the shopping spree as well to give her input on the more feminine articles of clothing.

SWK: It's so weird having gone through so many different sizes of clothing. I used to be an extra large before I got sick!

PIF: Is your goal to go back to that?

SWK: Technically, Nezha and I said that my goal should be to get to "a healthy weight" but that could mean anything! I'm sure Nezha knows what that means but I sure don't.

DBK: Did you enjoy being the weight that you did?

SWK: I did, actually! It was nice to have a bit of extra cushioning on me. My favorite bits were when I'd jump or move around and my pudge would bounce or jiggle around. It was fun. I miss it.

~~~

River: Thanks for bringing me to this mall. It's got some nice styles of clothing.

Jinzha: I like this place. It's got some more modern styles as well as a few more traditional styles. Sometimes it's nice to see what's fashionable with the mortals. It's become one of my new favorite places to shop for clothes.

River: Yeah, mortals can have some interesting th- *spots Demon Bull King from across the store* Shit!

Jinzha: What? What is i-

River: Don't look just go! *shoves him into the nearest restroom*

River: *closes the door behind them* *baracades the door with his body and starts panting*

Jinzha: River? What is it? What's going on?

River: *puts his ears up against the door* I don't think he noticed us.

Jinzha: Who?

River: The Demon Bull King! He's here! And how am I supposed to explain all *motions to themself in the mirror* this to him? I'd rather just avoid him.

Jinzha: That may be good if Wukong is with him.

River: *startles a bit when he hears Wukong might be here too*

Jinzha: But you can't just continuously avoid everyone. If you are to truly be your new, current self, you must be able to do so publicly.

River: *listens through the door* I don't hear Wukong's oxygen tank, but I hear a wheelchair that sounds like his. I can't tell if he's here or not- wait- He is here. I hear his heartbeat and giggling.

Jinzha: I take it you'd like to avoid him?

River: Ugh! *slides back into a sitting position* I don't know! Part of me wants to let him know I'm River now, but what if he asks why? If I try to make up an excuse or tell a half-truth, he'll know!

River: And with everything Macaque did to him? Even if I look different, I still sound the same as him.

Jinzha: We could always get you some voice training.

River: Fast enough to face Wukong today?

Jinzha: ... Perhaps not.

River: Let's just... try avoiding him. We'll just make this a short trip and get out of here before anyone notices.

Jinzha: Agreed.

~~~

Avoiding Wukong was a lot more difficult than anticipated. Wukong would get bored with trying on clothes so he'd either take trips to the bathroom or check out one of the toy sections.

River: *sees Wukong* *starts backing up*

River: *accidentally bumps into someone*

River: Oh, sorry, my bad! *turns around* MK???

MK: Macaque? What's up! I like your hair, trying out something new?

River: Um... kinda? Um, *looks around for Jinzha* *can't find him* I... um...

MK: Are you okay?

River: Um, yeah, ye-yeah. I just wasn't anticipating on running into anyone I know.

MK: Well, don't worry Macaque. It's just me.

River: *winces at hearing their deadname*

MK: *notices the wincing* Oh! Are you transitioning? It's okay, I'm female-to-male trans.

River: Oh! *shyly* Yeah, I guess I am transitioning kind of. I've never had to explain it to someone before.

MK: Oof. Yeah, coming out and reintroducing yourself can be hard. Don't worry I've been there.

River: I don't know what to do. What do I do?

MK: Well, you can start by telling me your name and pronouns! Here, I'll go first then you can introduce yourself back to me, okay?

River: Okay.

MK: My name is MK, and my pronouns are he/him. Now you try! Take as much time as you need, I'm not in a rush.

River: Um, okay. *takes deep breath* *closes his eyes* My name is River, a-and my pronouns are he/they. H-how was that?

MK: Very good! You did a great job. So River, right?

River: *smiles at hearing him new name* Uh-huh! That's my name now!

MK: Feels good to hear your true name, huh?

River: Yeah, first time anyone's said it other than Jinzha. Oh, and MK?

MK: Yeah?

River: You said you're female-to-male trans, right? Did you ever do any voice training?

MK: Absolutely! I can give you some tips and send you the videos I used if you'd like!

River: Would you? That'd be greatly appreciated.

MK: No problem!

River: Thank you.

MK: Man, you've really changed a lot since last time I saw you. You're way nicer now. Getting rid of that dysphoria feels good, huh?

River: Yeah, I guess so! I... didn't even really notice until you pointed it out. It's been really awkward and crazy for me.

MK: Transitioning can be like that sometimes. Don't worry, one day you'll be the you you are inside. It just takes time. And a bit of experimentation.

River: Thanks MK.

~~~

*after leaving the store*

Jinzha: Phew! Avoiding Wukong was harder than I thought. Huh, River?

River: *watching one of MK's voice-training videos on his phone with his earbuds in*

Jinzha: River?

River: What? Oh! Sorry, what did you say?

Jinzha: Did something happen when we were separated?

River: Oh. Yeah, I ran into MK. Turns out he's trans too so he gave me some advice on coming out and introducing myself and showed me some voice-training videos he used back when he first started out!

Jinzha: Neat! Looks like you've got a new project to look forward to.

River: Yeah, I guess so. Also, I've been thinking since that conversation I had with MK... I don't really know who I am or what I like, even.

River: I used to center myself around someone else or tried to act a certain way in front of others. I guess I never really took the time to figure out who I am and what I like and everything else in between.

River: So, I guess maybe that's the next step I should take, I think?

Jinzha: Sounds good to me. And don't worry, I'm with you every step of the way. Until July's over at least.

River: Oh gods, never thought I'd dread the end of the month as much as I do now.

Jinzha: Don't stress. We still have time. Until then, we can help you figure out who you are.

River: Thanks, Jinzha.

Part 89:

Masterpost

@weaverpop @istopaskingmemate @ainnur @fruit-fight @cutvdo @vivyainou

[felixcloud6288]

Dungeon Meshi Chapter 91 Extra

I had a few people argue that Laios intentionally put the "Can eat and digest Desires" clause in his monster notes as a backup plan to defeat the lion.

I went back through a few things to see if that could have been the case, but ultimately the only conclusion I could come up with was that Laios added that on a whim and his victory was ultimately a happy accident.

When did he write it?

First question I wanted to answer was "What are the most likely windows Laios could have written that note?" The most extreme early and end points are chapter 76 (when Kabru tells Laios that demons eat desires) and chapter 88 (when he gives Marcille the book).

Now for a quick summary of what Laios was doing each chapter:

Chapter 76: Flees from Lycion and falls into the water

Chapter 77: Drowning

Chapter 78: Drowning

Chapter 79: Recovers his gear from Walking mushrooms. Gets eaten by a giant bird and giant snake

Chapter 80: Gets pooped out of the snake. Takes a bath. Talks to Marcille. Gets locked in the kitchen

Chapter 81: Learns about Marcille's past. Shares a meal with everyone. Defeats a doppelganger

Chapter 82: Unknown

Chapter 83: Unknown

Chapter 84: Saves Lycion. Learns about the demons and the lion's goal. Enter's Marcille's tower

Chapter 85: Climbs Marcille's tower. Convinces her to stop.

Chapter 86: Seals the demon in a book. Discusses with the Canaries about how to defeat it. Promises he can beat the lion. Gets eaten by the lion

Chapter 87: Flashback

Chapter 88: Talks with the party about his plan. Gives Marcille the gourmet guide

In all that time, the only moments we can be sure Laios had time to pause and actually write that note is somewhere between chapters 81 and 84. He may have written it while taking a bath, but I'd say he probably wrote it after they fought the doppelganger.

Everyone was in their casual attire at the end of chapter 81 so they had to take a moment to get dressed. While at it, they had to come up with a way to sneak into the battlefield without Marcille noticing. And the party, or at least Laios, were likely also considering what to do about the lion. Laios didn't know it's not actually a monster until chapter 84. I imagine Laios was considering everything he knew, recalled Kabru mentioning the eating desires thing, and then he got curious about it and decided to write that into his monster notes because he thought it was cool that there's a monster that can do that.

I also considered if he might have added that after learning what demons truly are after chapter 84, but saw it's not possible because during all that time, Kensuke was forcibly connected to Laios's right hand. Laios wouldn't be able to write anything down even if he had the time.

What did Laios expect to happen?

The lion first approached Laios with the offer to make a kingdom of monsters. When everyone discusses the plan in chapter 88, Laios brings that up again.

Laios's contingency plan was under the assumption that he'd wish for that. He wanted Marcille to seal the lion ASAP, have Chilchuck force him to stay focused on the goal, have Senshi remind him of who he is, and have Izutsumi kill him if all else fails.

And the lion immediately separates Laios from the others which causes the plan to fail.

And when the lion was alone with Laios, it flooded him with memories of his youth and his interest in monsters to steer Laios into wishing to turn into a monster. Laios did not expect this to be the outcome at all when he became a dungeon lord.

What Laios understands

Prior to chapter 84, Laios thought the demon was a monster and has all the general weaknesses a monster has. The demon had told him they all share memories with each other, and Kabru told him about them eating desires.

After learning everything from Lycion, Laios understood that defeating the demon wasn't a simple matter like killing a monster.

After the lion told Laios its plan, he understood that the lion's appetite was its weakness. When he suggested defeating the demon, Laios said "I think I can return it to something that's more like air or water, though." Laios's original plan hinged on the lion being compelled to fulfill its masters desires. And he thought that if he had a strong enough desire for it, the lion would take the bait and put itself in a situation where it can no longer meddle with humans.

But the extent of Laios's plan was to see if that works and bail if it doesn't.

Final Remarks

When the lion asked why Laios was eating its desires, Laios simply said "I got curious." He wanted to know what would obsess an unknowable entity.

Monster Laios only began eating the lion's desires as he lay dying. I'd guess that Laios thought that he might as well find out what desires taste like before he dies.

Laios is smart, but he's not one for deception. He is horrible at lying and keeping secrets. He can hide his personal motivations behind a professional persona like when he first decided they were going to eat monsters in chapter 1, but he still gets too chatty about it. If he had a plan to turn into a monster and eat the lion's desires, he would have told the party. There's no way he would have kept that a secret; he would have excitedly blurted out the possibility at some point if he was actually considering it.

And when he was alone with the lion, he tried to fight against the lion's temptations. The lion gave Laios the chance to turn into a monster, and Laios refused.

So no, I don't think any of this was intentional. He wrote that note because he thought it was interesting, he did not expect he'd wish to turn into a monster when he approached the lion, and he decided to eat the lion's desires out of curiosity without knowing that would defeat it.

It's the most appropriate way this fight could have ended. The lion feeds on desires and tries to strip its master of all impulse control to get more out of them. And then it loses to someone because they indulged in several impulsive whims.

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[thgfanfictionlibrary]

M Rated Fics Masterlist (89)

Part 1 - Part 79 / Part 80 / Part 81 / Part 82 / Part 83 / Part 84 / Part 85 / Part 86 / Part 87 / Part 88 /

Created: August 27th, 2024

Last Checked:------

The Strange and Wondrous Gift of the White Stag-titania522 (ao3) Summary: All journeys must come to an end. However, Katniss gets a gift she least expects. Til the Rain Comes-lollercakes (ao3) Summary: When the rain doesn't come and the ground dries up, the people of District 12 sink into a desperate struggle for survival against starvation and poverty. It's only after a devastating accident in the mines that Peeta Mellark finds a friend in Katniss Hawthorne, realizing sometimes people need more than crops to survive and that maybe, even without rain, some things can still grow. Tumblr Word Meme Collection-titania522 (ao3) Summary: Collection of drabbles and oneshots inspired by the tumblr Word Meme and written by request. All center around Everlark. Originally published on tumblr in August/September 2016. Meme List and link constitute first chapter. Victory Tour Moments-peetasbunmyoven (tumblr) Summary: Imagine Peeta on the Victory Tour sneaking off during the day to masturbate so there's less chance of him embarrassing himself at night when he sleeps with Katniss. What if this could be it?-tethered_feathers (ao3) Summary: More detail on the beach scene. When “Bad” is the Worst Thing You’ve Ever Seen-titania522 (ao3) Summary: Even when Peeta's rage is involuntary, it has painful consequences for him and Katniss. Written for the Prompts in Panem - Seven Deadly Sins Challenge - Wrath (Good Again Outtake) Wingless Angel-peetasbunmyoven (ff.net) Summary: Peeta was wrong. I'm no angel. I have no wings. Wings allow flight and freedom and the promise of hope. I don't fly. I leave my feet here on the ground. How can he ask me this? How do I get married in a world where Prim can't wear something frivolous and pretty the same shade as her eyes? How do I walk to him with no one to give me away? Wishes Old and New-peetasbunmyoven (ff.net) Summary: Katniss never stayed at a school long enough to make friends. Then Peeta happened. He was all blue eyes, blushing cheeks, and braces and her new best friend suddenly made her heart race. But life happened. Fate got in the way and for ten years she wondered what ever happened to that blue eyed boy. Until she meets a blue eyed man who somehow knows her name. You Came Home-everlarkism (ao3) Summary: A deeper look into Peeta and Katniss’ life after the rebellion where they grow back together and start a family of their own as District 12 prospers again. “Peeta…” “Katniss?”-Hdishebrna (ao3) Summary: 18+ everlark watch their completed first adult film in front of fellow Victors

[recluserat]

Wip Wednesday

Got tagged by @kymera219 so here is a snippet of a steter semi-crackfic I've been working on lately <3

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare anyone. I’m delivering for Cheese Louise… for uh, Talia Hale?” “Of course, I’m Talia. Please just give me a moment to deal with her, I’ll send someone to help.” “Oh, okay…” Stiles heard the door shut, the muscles in his arms practically screaming out in pain as he drooped even more. He tried to count the seconds in his head, hoping that the distraction would keep his mind off the pain. It unfortunately did not, the tower of pizzas quivering as his arms shook. 87, 88, 89- oh god they’re falling! Stiles could feel his arms giving out, but just as the boxes slipped out of his hands there was another force raising them up, taking all the weight from him. He practically folded in on himself, needing to take a second to recover from the heart attack he was sure he’d just experienced at the thought of dropping 10 pizzas at once. He could feel his heart pounding so hard in his chest he was sure it was visible, like an old timey cartoon. Once he was able to breathe again he braved a look up at the new presence, a man just slightly taller than him with the slightest bit of facial hair and a smug grin as he held the pizzas effortlessly in one hand. “Sorry,” Stiles sputtered, both annoyed and a bit turned on by the man’s display of strength, “I, uh… didn’t hear the door open.” “I didn’t come through the door” The man replied, his voice smooth as his smirk never dropped. Stiles furrowed his brow in confusion, but just as he opened his mouth to respond the door opened. “Peter.” The man at the door said flatly, almost before the door was even fully open. He looked to be about the same age as Stiles, likely sent out by the woman earlier if the wad of cash in his hand was any indication. “Pay the man, Derek. Then take these. I’ll get the rest.” The man standing in front of Stiles, Peter he supposes, never tore his eyes from where he was still making amused eye contact with him even as he spoke to the man in the doorway, “You did say there are more in your car, correct?” It felt like Stiles’ brain was going to short circuit, but he pulled it together just enough to react accordingly as he straightened up to his full height, “Y-yeah, um. Yeah, there’s a bunch more in the car. Give me a second…” He moved his attention to the man in the doorway, Derek, “You guys have already paid, we have a card on file.” “Delivery tip.” Derek stated bluntly, shoving the cash out towards Stiles. Peter watched in amusement as he quietly shifted the pizzas from one hand to the other. Stiles’ eyes glanced from the stack in front of him back up to Derek’s face, searching for any indication that the man was joking but finding only impatience so he quickly pocketed the money, not even stopping to think about counting it in front of the men. Peter passed the boxes over to Derek’s now empty hands, turning with a carnivorous grin to Stiles, “Lead the way darling” When Stiles got home that night he pulled out the wad of cash in his pocket, quickly thumbing through it to find that it added up to $275… more than a 70% tip…

[thescarletnargacuga]

PLAY PRETEND

A BUNNYDOLL ONESHOT

WARNING: unhinged Ragatha, SO much digital violence, NPCs die

~~~

"CUT!! No, no, NO!! Do it again! Do it right!" An NPC wearing a ball cap labeled "Director" threw a script down on the ground in frustration.

Jax dragged a hand down his face. "We've done this scene 87 times!!"

"And we'll do it 87 more times if you don't do your job and act right!" The NPC gripped the arms of his chair, fit to break. "Go again! Reset!" The movie set came to life with activity. People rushing to reset props and touch up make up on the actors.

"Jax, please, just do what he says." Ragatha pleaded. She was as tired as he was, plus she was standing in bad heels the whole time. At least he got to stay barefoot. "We won't be able to finish the adventure until the movie's finished." She coughed when an NPC powdered her cheeks.

"I agree. This is getting very dull." Kinger said from his position next to them. "Just go with it and it'll be over soon."

"But why did I get this part? Why can't you be the groom??" Jax tugged at the tight tux collar choking him.

"Because I play the part of an ordained minister better." Kinger said matter-of-factly.

"I'm not exactly thrilled about it either, Jax. I'd much rather kiss Kinger. At least he wouldn't complain the whole time." Ragatha sneered.

Kinger had a smile in his eyes. He looked to the maid of honor and best man. "You two holding up okay?"

"My legs are numb." Gangle whimpered. The dress she was forced to wear was heavy on her spindly body.

"I should have stayed at the circus with Zooble." Pomni muttered. At least she got to wear a suit, so she wasn't too uncomfortable.

"Hey! Could we fix the best man's hair?" The director called out. "He looks like he just crawled out of bed!"

"I'm a GIRL!!" Pomni snarled, only to be ignored. Another NPC rushed to her and adjusted her hair.

Jax sighed and pinched the area where the bridge of his nose would be if he had one. "Shut up, you little cross dresser. Yelling at the moron doesn't do anything. Caine made the director a bit too passionate about his movie."

"Tell me about it." Ragatha crossed her arms. "I read the script, we're not even in the final scene! There's a whole other act that centers around our characters fighting a horde of mutant unicorns"

"Say what?" Jax gaped.

"Yeah, once the wedding scene is over, a horde breaks in and we fight. Pomni dies in your arms, Gangle escapes with Kinger but we break into the church's armory and fight them off."

"There's an armory??" Jax grew increasingly interested.

"Yeah? Did you not read the script?"

"Of course not, I have you to do it for me." He grinned. "Do you know where the armory is now?"

"Yeah, it's under the altar behind Kinger." She arched a brow. "Why?"

"Things are about to get interesting. Hey, D-man, we doing this scene or what?"

"If you're finally ready." The director answered incredulously. "From the top! Quiet on set! Camera! Wedding vows take 88 and...action!"

Jax and Ragatha held hands, believably happy looks on their faces. Kinger opened his book that had nothing on it. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join two hearts and souls to be one in the eyes of God." Kinger raised his hands up, light poured in through the stained glass window behind him that had Caine as this movie world's proclaimed religion. Pomni subtly rolled her eyes. "Mr. Smith, would you say your vows?"

Jax cleared his throat. "Maggie, you've been by my side bringing love and laughter into my life when I've needed it most. I feel like I've known you forever. Maybe even in another life. You have a heart of gold that I intend to have and hold forever. I love you."

The director looked at the script. Jax was improving some of his lines. At least the scene was still moving along.

Ragatha was blushing for real and completely forgot her lines. Jax was so convincing when he actually tried. She almost missed her cue and winged it the best she could. "Oh, Jack, my love. You have been my rock. When life was too much, you'd bring me back to earth and tell me...it doesn't matter. You've put things into perspective for me when my mind would run away. You've stood steady fast against the world, no matter what it threw at you. Your bravery is inspiring, I will always love you."

The director checked the script again. "What..?"

Gangle and Pomni looked at each other, but stayed in character.

"The rings." Kinger said and Pomni handed them to Jax. He slid the rose gold ring on Ragatha's finger and said, "With this ring, I ask you, are you ready to kick some [%$!#]?"

"Huh?"

Before the director could yell "cut", Jax kicked the altar over and pulled out the first weapon he could reach. A good old boot-zooka. He aimed it at the director and fired. The director dove out of the way in time for the boot to turn his chair to splinters, and the crew scattered screaming in terror.

"Grab the camera!" Jax ordered as he reloaded.

Kinger slid over as fast as he could and hoisted the cinema camera off its stand.

"Whatever you do, don't stop rolling! We're finishing this movie our way!" Jax fired again at the director, who took it to the face and was thrown through a set wall.

"This is insane!" Pomni grabbed a random weapon, it looked like a weird water gun.

Gangle didn't grab anything, she hid behind Kinger.

Ragatha could hear frantic neighing over the calamity. She saw horses with an inhumane amount of paint and prosthetics plastered onto them tied to a far wall. They were apparently the mutant unicorns they were supposed to fight in the next scene. She dug into the weapons and found a huge butcher's knife. She looked at Jax, who had run out of boots and was grabbing a shotgun.

"For once, I agree with you. Let's get these [%$!#]holes." She wielded her knife and ran to the horses.

Jax grinned so much, his face hurt. "[%$!#] em up!" Security came to control the situation and Jax leveled his gun at the first NPC that tried to rush him. The gun exploded and a roll of dollar bills hit the NPC in the chest, downing him. "Buckshot. Heh, I get it." He racked another bundle and fired.

Ragatha cut the ropes tethering the frightened horses. One by one, they ran in random directions. They galloped off in straight lines and didn't stop for anything in their way; not NPCs, sets, walls, or Pomni.

"Everybody run!! They're mad!!" An NPC, who Ragatha recognized as the one who constantly did her makeup by shoving powder in her face, screamed. "Oh, you haven't seen anything yet." Ragatha threw the knife and it lodged itself in the NPC's head. They fell backwards to the ground. "By the way, your makeup skills are TRASH!"

She never realized just how much rage burned beneath the surface. It felt so good to finally let go, at least in the moment. She'd probably hate herself later, but right now, she didn't care. She yanked her knife out of the unresponsive NPC and looked for her next target. An NPC was baring down on Jax as he was fighting off three others. She ran up and started chopping.

Jax turned to see the absolute ruin Ragatha had left the NPC in. She was huffing, her hair was disheveled, and gripping the knife like an axe. "Anyone every tell you you're gorgeous when you're crazy?"

She tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at him. "Someone has now." She tore at her wedding dress; losing the sleeves and frills. She ripped the skirt so she could move faster. She blushed when Jax wolf whistled at her.

Pomni whimpered as she shakily held her gun up at some advancing security NPCs. She pulled the trigger and hot glitter glue shot out and covered everyone in front of her. They screamed until the glue hardened, turning them into glittery gooey statues.

"Atta girl, Pomni!" Ragatha encouraged.

Pomni did not share Ragatha's enthusiasm. "ARE WE DONE YET!?"

"Do you see a portal? The movie isn't over! Kinger! Get this in frame!" Jax shot another NPC in the leg.

Ragatha chased another NPC past a supply closet. She stopped in her tracks when the word flammable stuck out in her periphery. The door was locked, so she hacked away at the handle like a madwoman. She opened it to find stacks of crates marked for various pyrotechnics and explosives. She gave a grin that would make Jax proud. "Jackpot."

The director was coming to after being booted through the wall. He groaned and climbed out of the hole in time to see Ragatha come out of the fire closet with an oversized roman candle. She fired at some of the few remaining security. Multicolor balls of sparking fire rained down on her enemies.

The director tried to scramble away but the butt end of a shot gun punted him into the supply closet. He crashed into the crates, one dumping half sticks of dynamite into his lap. He looked up in fear to see Jax looming in the doorway. "You know, without that hat. You're no more distinguishable from the rest. You're nothing but an annoying hack rack." He flicked the hat off the director's head with the barrel of his gun.

"Please...please don't hurt me."

"Oh, I'm not gonna do anything. You see, my bride is a bit pent up. You're all hers." Jax stepped back and dropped his weapon.

As if on cue, Ragatha came over and jumped into Jax's arms.

Jax caught and held her like the battle bride she was.

Ragatha aimed the giant roman candle at the director. "And they lived happily ever after!"

"Mother[%$!#]!" Jax held tight as the roman candle kicked back. It sent three colorful fireballs into the pile of explosive crates, blowing them and director sky high. The explosion blew back Ragatha's hair, silhouetting her against the fiery glow.

Jax couldn't help himself. In the literal heat of the moment, he kissed her. He expected to be punched or berated but...she kissed him back. She dropped her weapon and wrapped her arms around his neck. His grip on her tightened, holding her close until the kiss came to an end. They parted only enough to look each other in the eye.

"You don't have to keep pretending, dollface." The usually degrading nickname held a tone of endearment.

"I think we should both stop pretending." She kissed his cheek. "I think this could work if we let it."

"Yeah....maybe it could."

Kinger cut the camera. With the movie complete, the portal back to the circus opened.

~~~

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, please leave a comment or check out my blog for more TADC oneshots!

[beardedmrbean]

The man accused of the fiery assault on pro-Jewish protesters in Boulder, Colorado, did not complete his attack plan “because he got scared and had never hurt anyone before,” police wrote in an affidavit.

Boulder Detective John Sailer wote that the suspect, Mohamed Sabry Soliman arrived at the scene Sunday with 18 Molotov cocktails but threw just two while yelling “Free Palestine.”

Soliman, 45, told authorities he took a class and learned to shoot a gun while planning the attack, the affidavit says. He later found out he could not purchase one because he was not a U.S. citizen. He then taught himself how to make Molotov cocktails from YouTube videos, the affidavit says.

He told authorities no one else knew of is plan but that he did leave a journal with his family.

Soliman, a native of Egypt who lives in Colorado Springs, is accused of attacking a weekly "Run for Their Lives" demonstration on Sunday. Twelve people ages 52 to 88 suffered burns ranging from serious to minor, police said.

A federal affidavit charging Soliman with a hate crime and attempted murder says he targeted the “Zionist group." Soliman said he learned about the demonstration from an online search and wanted to keep Zionists from taking over "our land" of Palestine, according to the affidavit. It says Soliman, the father of five, told investigators he planned the attack for a year and waited for a daughter to graduate from high school before executing it.

12 burned in Boulder attack: Suspect charged with federal hate crime

Soliman's daughter won local scholarship

Investigators say Soliman told them he waited until his daughter graduated to mount his attack. That daughter appears to be Habiba Soliman, who was profiled in an April story published in the Colorado Springs Gazette as one of its "Best and Brightest" senior class scholarship winners.

Habiba told the paper she arrived in the United States as a high school sophomore speaking little English. She attended Thomas Maclaren School, a K-12 charter school, where she not only worked on her English but signed up to learn German as her foreign language requirement. She also started an Arabic club.

Habiba was born in Egypt but lived in Kuwait for 14 years. Because she was not Kuwaiti, attending medical school there was not an option, she said. The move to the United States provided a chance to fulfill her dream, she said.

“Coming to the USA has fundamentally changed me,” she said. “I learned to adapt to new things even if it was hard. I learned to work under pressure and improve rapidly in a very short amount of time. Most importantly, I came to appreciate that family is the unchanging support.”

Soliman's path from Egypt to Boulder

Soliman is a native Egyptian who entered the United States in late 2022 on a tourist visa. He later requested asylum and remained in the country after his visa expired in February 2023. He, his wife and their five children lived in Colorado Springs, about 100 miles south of Boulder. Soliman worked as an Uber driver, the company confirmed.

His daughter, Habiba, graduated from high school with honors on May 29. Her dad drove to Boulder to attack the protest three days later, according to investigators

Unable to purchase a gun, Soliman told investigators he turned to gasoline, glass bottles and a backpack sprayer often used by landscapers to dispense pesticide or fertilizer. Soliman told investigators he stopped several times, on his drive from Colorado Springs, to buy the bottles for the Molotov cocktails, the 87-octane gas to fill them and to Home Depot to buy flowers as camouflage to make it easier to "get as close as possible to the group."

− Trevor Hughes

Trump administration pledges crackdown

Todd Lyons, acting director of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, said the immigration story of Soliman is far from unique.

"There are millions of individuals like this that we are attempting to locate from the past administration that weren't properly screened that were allowed in," Lyons said.

President Donald Trump, in a social media post Monday, called Sunday's attack "yet another example of why we must keep our Borders SECURE, and deport Illegal, Anti-American Radicals from our Homeland."

Secretary of State Marco Rubio, echoed Trump in his own post, warning that "in light of yesterday’s horrific attack, all terrorists, their family members, and terrorist sympathizers here on a visa should know that under the Trump administration we will find you, revoke your visa, and deport you."

Boulder suspect's next court date is Thursday

Soliman appeared in court on Monday and was ordered held on $10 million bond. He is due back in court on Thursday. The suspect faces a maximum sentence of life in prison if found guilty on the federal hate crime charge because he was also charged with attempted-murder in state court.

Soliman also faces state charges including 16 counts of attempted murder and 18 counts of possesion of incendiary devices and related offenses. The attempted-murder counts alone are punishable by up to 384 years in prison, Boulder County District Attorney Michael Dougherty said.

More federal and/or state charges could be added later, authorities said.